


Emotions Left Unsaid

by Shire55



Category: P/C - Fandom, P/C h/c, Picard/Crusher, Star Trek The Next Generation, TNG - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-19
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 13:29:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shire55/pseuds/Shire55





	Emotions Left Unsaid

Emotions Left Unsaid.  
The Command staff sat around the long obsidian table in the forward  
observation lounge, each uncomfortable with what had unfolded.  
The telepath, Acryops, had been aboard only three hours, but already  
his presence was being felt. With tactlessness only an alien could  
wield, he had proceeded to tell the staff some truths about themselves  
they would have rather been left unsaid.  
Lieutenant Commander Worf shifted in his chair and glowered at  
the telepath.  
"Klingons do not tell others how they feel!"  
"But Sir"  
"It is a dishonourable thing to do to a warrior! Stop it  
immediately!"  
Acryops looked around the table and his slitted orange eyes settled  
on Lieutenant Geordie LaForge.  
"What about you Lieutenant? Surely the Lieutenant in Astrophysics  
is aware of how you feel?"  
Geordie's face reddened behind his visor, his tongue nervously  
licking his lower lip.  
"No Sir she isn't."  
"But why when you feel so strongly?"  
"Well I can't justthat is Iwell"  
Captain Jean-Luc Picard cleared his throat and brought the attention  
back to himself.  
"Acryops it isn't our way to tell each other each and every  
thought. It would be considered an invasion of privacy, as is  
someone else accessing them. I suggest"  
"But Captain, your feelings for Doctor Crusher are very"  
"Acryops! That is enough! It's time we brought this meeting  
to an end. We can"  
"But this is absurd! Doctor Crusher shares your feelings.  
Why do you not"?  
Jean-Luc Picard stood abruptly silencing the gregarious Acryops.  
His stare was glacial as he took in his assembled officers.  
"The mission to the Arellian Assembly will proceed as planned.  
If there are no further issues to discuss, you are dismissed.  
Acryops I would appreciate it if you stayed behind."  
Commander Will Riker, Doctor Beverly Crusher, Counsellor Deanna  
Troi, Lieutenant Commander Data, Worf and Geordie filed from the  
room, each suppressing a smirk. When they were alone, Jean-Luc  
addressed his guest.  
"Acryops I must stress the fact that yourinsights are  
causing great discomfort amongst my crew. It would be better if  
you"  
"Whom are you more concerned about? Your crew or yourself?"  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"Captain you feel very deeply for Doctor Crusher. From what  
I understand of Humans, you're in love with herand she feels  
for you with the same depth. I do not understand why two people  
who care so much for each other should keep such information from  
being explored."  
Picard took a deep breath and ran his hands over his bald pate.  
"There is a long, painful and convoluted history between  
us Acryops. It's just not possible."  
"I still don't understand."  
"Well you'll have to get by on my word. Now as to the missionhave  
you everything you need?"  
The telepath looked down at the isolinear chips and the data PADD  
and nodded.  
"Yes, your staff has been very thorough in the information  
they have gathered. When we meet with the Arellians you will have  
to remember to leave the talking to me. You represent the Federation,  
but they will not recognise you, as you're 'mind blind'. Without  
telepathy, they will consider you disabled, but always bear in  
mind they can hear your every thought. A disciplined mind is required  
Captain. A stray thought could ruin everything."  
Jean-Luc nodded thoughtfully and gestured for his guest to follow  
him from the room.  
"The Arellians need Federation help with the disposition  
of their mineral wealth. They chose to contact us, I can't but  
think that's a positive note."  
"Indeed Captain, but you still think"  
Picard held up a hand and frowned at the telepath.  
"Don't tell me what I'm thinking Acryops, I already know."  
"As you wish Captain."

 

 

 

Later that afternoon, Will and Deanna were in her quarters  
going over crew evaluations. Deanna sighed and straightened up  
from her computer terminal.  
"You know Will, I've been thinking about what Acryops said  
about the Captain and Beverly."  
Will looked up at his best friend and grinned.  
"You didn't need to be a telepath to read the Captain. He  
was furious."  
"I know, but what Acryops said was true. I've been sensing  
the same strong emotions from them for some time now. If they  
both feel the same way, why don't they do something about it?"  
Will shook his bearded head and blew out a breath.  
"You've got me. As far as I'm concerned, they're made for  
each other. Maybe you could talk to Beverly about it."  
Deanna toyed with the keys of the terminal then smiled thankfully  
at her friend.  
"Yes, maybe I will."

 

 

 

 

Beverly had changed from her uniform into a soft  
pair of black leggings and an oversize blue jumper. She was tending  
to her orchids when the door annunciator sounded.  
"Come in."  
The doors sighed open and Deanna stepped in, her hands curiously  
behind her back.  
"Hello Deanna. What have you got there?"  
Instead of answering, the Counsellor stepped up to Beverly and  
watched as she pruned the plant. Beverly let the silence settle  
between them as she concentrated on her task.  
"What about that one?"  
Beverly followed Deanna's pointing chin and shook her head.  
"No. That one will produce new flowers soon. I never disturb  
new growth."  
"Never?"  
"No."  
"What about in people?"  
"Pardon?"  
Deanna turned to her friend and took her arm, guiding her to the  
sofa.  
"What about new growth in people? Is it wise to stymie feelings  
when they're shared?"  
Beverly frowned and shook her head, sending her lustrous red hair  
dancing.  
"Really Deanna, I don't think it's any of your business."  
"Isn't it? What happened in the observation lounge only confirmed  
what I've been sensing from you two for weeks."  
Beverly's eyes dropped to her hands as they wrestled on her lap.  
"A large part of my job is to try and keep people happyon  
an even keel, so to speak. You and the Captain love each otheram  
I right?"  
Beverly's hands formed fists, as the frown became a scowl.  
"I don't want to talk about it!"  
With a free hand, Deanna covered the clenched hands.  
"I know, but you're going to. Here, this will make it easier."  
From behind her back, Deanna produced a box, tied with a gay blue  
ribbon.  
Disarmed, Beverly smiled at her friend.  
"What's this?"  
"Chocolates. Very, very special chocolates. From Borallis  
IV."  
"Oh my God, you don't mean"  
"Yep."  
"And you're willing to share them?"  
"Yesbut only if you open up about your feelings."  
"So it's a bribe then."  
"Yes. Definitely."  
Beverly sank into deep thought. She was not happy about sharing  
her thoughts with Deanna on this particular topic, but she also  
knew bottling them up was detrimentaland she wanted some  
of those chocolates. They were known throughout the quadrant as  
the most delicious of all chocolates, bringing an almost sensual  
experience to those who ate them. She came to her decision.  
"All right, I'll do it. Shall I replicate some Champagne?  
They say you should eat them with chilled Champagne."  
Deanna giggled.  
"Why not?"  
Moments later Beverly returned with two large flutes brimming  
with the sparkling wine. They each chose a chocolate, closed their  
eyes and popped them into their mouths. There was a momentary  
silence while they chewed, then moans of pleasure could be heard.  
Beverly was first to speak.  
"Oh Godit's sothey're just so"  
"Mmmm aren't they just? Have you ever tasted anything so  
decadent?"  
"Uh uh. Oh the aftertasteit lingers"  
"The Champagnesip some Champagne."  
The glasses were raised in unison as the women sipped. They closed  
their eyes and savoured the sensation.  
Sighing with pleasure, they opened their eyes and grinned at each  
other.  
"Deanna where did you get Borallian chocolates?"  
"Will got them for me for our last anniversary. I've been  
saving them."  
"Thank God. You know I've only ever tasted real Borallian  
chocolates once before."  
"Really? When was that?"  
"About two years ago. They were given to me by a friend."  
"Must've been some friend. Not only are they very hard to  
find, they're extortionately expensive. Who was it? Anyone I know?"  
Almost in a whisper, Beverly answered her friend.  
"It was Jean-Luc actually."  
"Beverly"  
The Doctor looked up, her face hardening.  
"I can't tell him Deanna."  
"Why."  
"It would ruin everything. After KesPryttafter I found  
out how he felt about mehe offered to take our relationship  
to a more intimate level. I turned him down."  
"You didn't tell him how you felt?"  
"No, I managed to put him off."  
"If you love him, why did you turn him down?"  
"Oh Deanna I don't want to lose his friendship. It's the  
most precious thingif I lost that I don't know what I'd  
do."  
"But becoming intimate with him doesn't necessarily mean  
you'll lose your friendship. In fact it's most likely it will  
strengthen it. Becoming lovers is the next logical step Beverly  
for two people as much in love as you two are."  
"And what if he's brought into Sickbay, badly injured and  
I can't save him? What then?"  
"Beverly I have no crystal ball. I can't see into the future  
and tell you everything will be rosy for you both. But I can tell  
you that if you continue to deny your feelings for each other,  
the repercussions will be devastating. Do you want to go through  
the rest of your life unfulfilled? Wouldn't it be better to love  
him here, in the now, than to lose him and never know that love?"  
The two women sat in silence. One willing the other to yield to  
common sense. Eventually Beverly shook her head.  
"No. I won't do itI can't."  
"But Beverly"  
"No Deanna! No more. The subject is closed!"  
Deanna left her quarters soon after.

 

 

 

 

 

"I thought Worf was going to do him some physical  
harm."  
Geordie's smile was genuine, but the observation was serious.  
Three friends, Geordie, Worf and Data were in Ten Forward discussing  
the earlier meeting.  
"If he had continued, I might have!"  
Data was watching his friends closely.  
"Why does having your thoughts aired cause discomfort? I  
would have thought it would facilitate matters a great deal."  
Geordie turned to the android officer and frowned.  
"Well Data, we like to maintain a level of privacy. Part  
of being Human is learning how to deal with people based only  
on what they tell you. If we could read each other's thoughtswell  
it would be chaotic to say the least."  
Data cocked his head to one side.  
"But would it not avoid misunderstandings?"  
"Maybe, but I think there would be a lot of resentment."  
Data processed that information, then formed another query.  
"What about the Captain and Doctor Crusher? If what Acryops  
said is true, are they not denying their feelings for each other?  
Why would they do that? Would it not be beneficial for them to  
act upon how they feel?"  
Worf grunted and muttered under his breath  
"Human mating rituals"  
Geordie silenced him with a look and addressed his friend.  
"Obviously it's not that simple Data."  
"But Geordie"  
"We should not be discussing the Captain in this manner!  
It isunbecoming."  
"Worf's right Data. Why don't we"  
"Lieutenant Worf, why did you stop the telepath from reading  
you?"  
Worf glared at his superior.  
"As I said, it is a dishonourable thing to do. A Klingon  
does not let his thought be aired for all to hear!"  
"Why?"  
"Because it is private!Sir. I considered it an invasion  
and had he not stopped, I would have threatened him with violence."  
Data exhibited shock at this pronouncement.  
"Even if the Captain allowed it?"  
"Captain Picard would not allow such a thing."  
Geordie clasped his hands on the table and sighed.  
"Worf's right Data, the Captain would never condone such  
an invasion of privacy. Acryops may be receiving us constantly,  
but Captain Picard would've asked him to keep it to himself in  
the future."  
Data thought about this and filed the information away for further  
study. He was soon on to his next question.  
"What do you think about the upcoming mission Geordie? Why  
do you think the Captain was requested?"  
"His reputation, no doubt."  
"But he is not telepathic. He will be dealing with a species  
that can read his thoughts. Will that not put him at a disadvantage?"  
Worf's smile was fearsome.  
"The Captain will overcome such difficulties. He has a strong  
mind."  
Geordie shook his head.  
"It'll need to be Worf. Just thinkit's been a long  
day, you're tiredall it would take is one stray thought  
and boom! It all blows up in your face. I certainly wouldn't like  
to be in his shoes."  
"Why would being in his shoes help Geordie?"  
"It's just a saying Data, it means better him than me."  
Data filed that away then asked guilelessly,  
"How will having another telepath there help?"  
Worf grunted.  
"I'm sure Captain Picard doesn't need and more telepathic  
help."  
Geordie frowned at Worf and answered Data.  
"Acryops is from the Federation Diplomatic Corps. His role  
will be to assist the Captain."  
Worf shifted in his chair and grumbled,  
"I do not like it! The Captain needs no help in matters of  
diplomacy. He is an accomplished diplomat!"  
"I hear you Worf, but the Federation is running this show  
and the Captain follows orders just like the rest of us. If they  
say take a telepath, he takes one."  
"It should be me accompanying him to the planet, not that  
telepath."  
Data watched his friends and listened as Geordie brought the subject  
to a close.  
"Yeah well I agree with you but orders are orders."  
The three officers finished their drinks in silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc sat in his Ready Room mulling over what  
Acryops had revealed. He had known for some time that Beverly  
loved him. He had seen through her efforts to shield him on KesPrytt,  
but what he didn't know was how deep those feelings went. Now  
he knew. She loved him as he loved hercompletely and utterly.  
He had felt this way for so long it had become a part of who he  
was, as familiar to him as the beating of his heart.  
A proud and sensitive man, he had been devastated by her refusal  
to take their relationship forward, in fact it still hurt him  
and he was shy of being hurt in such a manner again.  
For most of his life he had been content to devote himself to  
his chosen profession. He had always known what he wanted to do  
and once he achieved that he was satisfied, but the love he held  
for Beverly had settled in his heart and, as the years passed,  
he realised his life was indeed incomplete. Without her in his  
life, his existence would have no meaning and if that meant having  
her as a friend only, then so-be-it. It was better than the alternative.  
Now he was puzzled. If she felt as he did, why couldn't they explore  
that? What was she afraid of? How could he broach the subject?  
Should he? And what if he was turned down again? Could he stand  
the hurt all over again?  
He rose from his chair and sauntered to the replicator, requesting  
his usual Earl Grey tea. Returning to his desk, he picked up the  
crystal stylus and twirled it to catch the light.  
"Oh God, what do I do now?"

 

 

 

 

 

At the Captain's request Acryops stayed in his cabin  
for the remaining two days it took to reach Arellius. For the  
entire time he was privy to the thoughts of over a thousand people  
but he concentrated on the Captain and Beverly. Their refusal  
to admit their feelings was a great puzzle to him, one he was  
determined to solve.

 

 

 

 

As the mighty Starship entered orbit around Arellius,  
Acryops was ordered to the Bridge. He arrived quickly, hearing  
the thoughts of everyone at once. Grimacing, he concentrated on  
the Captain and smiled at the cool precision he found.  
"Captain, have you established contact?"  
"Not yet Acryops, I was waiting for your arrival."  
"Very well, I am ready."  
"Ops open a channel to the surface."  
The viewscreen flickered once then cleared to reveal a being of  
unremarkable appearance. Of medium height, with dark shoulder  
length hair, the only unusual feature being bright pink eyes set  
against dark skin. Jean-Luc stood with his usual elegant grace  
and addressed the being.  
"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise.  
May I also introduce Acryops of the Dellars?"  
The being on the screen looked carefully at the two men then gave  
a slight bow.  
"I am Udrom, Chief Negotiator for the Grannic Consortium.  
Welcome. We have arranged quarters for you and you aide, we are  
sending coordinates now"  
Worf received the information.  
"We have them Sir."  
"Very well, Udromwe will beam down at your convenience."  
The link severed, Jean-Luc turned to his First Officer.  
"Well Number One, the ship is yours until I return."  
"Aye Sir, we'll take good care of her."  
When Jean-Luc and Acryops entered the transporter room, he was  
disappointed to find Beverly hadn't come to say goodbye. The telepath  
watched the Captain closely as he fought down his displeasure  
and re-focussed on the mission. Satisfied that the Captain had  
got control of his thoughts, Acryops smiled at Jean-Luc and nodded  
his readiness.  
"Energise."  
It would be an interesting few days ahead.  
Beverly sat in her office in Sickbay and looked again at the chronometer.  
"He would be in the transporter room by now. Why am I sitting  
here?"  
She picked up her chamomile tea but put it down without sipping  
the hot liquid. Drawing her legs up until her forehead rested  
on her knees, she clasped her hands around her shins and closed  
her eyes.  
"Come home soon Jean-Luc"

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc and Acryops rematerialised in a large building  
in the city centre. Light and airy, Jean-Luc's eyes were drawn  
to the artwork strategically placed around the room.  
"It's a collection of several artists work Captain. You would  
like to study the pieces more closely."  
Frowning at having his thoughts so easily read, Jean-Luc faced  
his host and straightened his spine.  
"I'm sure that can wait Udrom."  
He extended his right hand and, after a moment's hesitation, Udrom  
clasped it in a firm grip.  
"Ah yes, the Human custom of shaking hands. I believe it  
is an ancient gesture meant to reassure. I can see you carry no  
weapons. I am reassured."  
"Actually, as most Humans are right handed, it was to show  
that the weapon hand was empty. Any weapon, be it sword or spear  
was transferred to the left hand, with the shield."  
"Indeed? How quaint. I take it your weapons are more sophisticated  
now?"  
Jean-Luc nodded and smiled.  
"I believe weapons are on your list of requirements?"  
"Yes Captain. I'm sure we can come to an equitable arrangement."  
"As am I. How many delegates are there?"  
"Five. Apart from myself, there are four other consortiums  
represented. Together we hold the mineral wealth of Arellius.  
With the Federation's help, we hope to trade those resources for  
an alliance mutually beneficial to us both. Why don't we petition  
to join the Federation? Because we value our autonomy."  
Acryops stepped up to the Captain and peered at Udrom, frowning.  
Udrom's eyebrows rose and he smiled showing white pointed teeth.  
"Ah forgive me Captain Picard. I will try to remember your  
thoughts are your own unless you express them. My apologiesbut  
you don't approve of this meeting?"  
"My approval is not required Udrom. I will follow my orders  
and do my job to the best of my ability."  
"Thank you Captainfor your candour."  
They were taken from the building and shown to a suite of rooms  
nearby. Jean-Luc had his bag beamed down and spent some time setting  
out his things. He had three hours to kill, so he set his alarm  
and stretched out on his bed, hoping to get some sleep. His door  
chime interrupted that plan.

Jean-Luc got up and opened his door, expecting to see  
Acryops. He was startled to find a tall female Arellian. She pushed  
past the Captain and began pacing around his room.  
"I beg your pardonwho are you and what are you doing  
in my room?"  
"I understand your confusion Captain Picard. My name is Nerella  
and I have risked much to get to see you. I represent an alliance  
of people who want these negotiations stopped. Once the consortiums  
get what they want from the Federation, including weapons, we  
will be subjugated. You have to return to your ship Captain! The  
talks must stop now before they start."  
Jean-Luc stared at the woman, thinking furiously. Before he could  
voice his thoughts, she interrupted him.  
"I know captain. You're thinking you should call security.  
Don't. I'm armed and I will use any force necessary to avoid capture.  
You want to know what's going on? The workers of the planet have  
been under the rule of the consortiums for generations. Over the  
last twenty years, we've been trying to achieve self-government,  
but the consortiums won't allow it. There have been some insurrections,  
all ruthlessly put down. Thousands of lives have been lost. If  
these negotiations go ahead it will sound a death knell for my  
peoplewe will not give up, they will have to annihilate  
us."  
"You realise that by telling me this, you have compromised  
me? I don't know if I can keep this from them."  
"If the talks fail, it won't be an issue. You're thinking  
you should contact your superiors. That's a good idea. We're a  
dirty secret the consortiums have kept for too long. It's about  
time our struggle became common knowledge. I will leave you now  
Captain. The telepath who is with you will know of my visit. Can  
he be trusted?"  
"II don't know."  
"Oh well, we shall see, won't we? Goodbye Captain Picard."  
She left and Jean-Luc stood in deep thought for a few moments.  
He slapped his comm. Badge and called the ship.  
"Enterprise this is Picard."  
Nothing.  
"Enterprise this is Picard, respond please."  
When no response was forthcoming, he left his room and went to  
Acryops. The chime went unanswered so he opened the door and stepped  
in.  
"Acryops?"  
With no answer, he entered the bedroom and was stunned to find  
the telepath unconscious on the floor, bleeding from a head wound.  
Attached to his temples was a metal device embedded in his skull.  
Jean-Luc was checking his pulse when he felt a weapon pressed  
to the base of his neck.  
"Don't move Captain!"  
He felt the stinging prick of a needle in his shoulder and moments  
later his vision began to blur. As he pitched forward, his last  
thought was  
"They know!"

 

 

 

It was the pounding in his head that eventually woke  
him. He realised soon after that his shoulders were practically  
screaming with pain. Cracking his eyes open he found that he was  
tied, his hands behind his back and his arms raised as he leaned  
forward. A post separated his hands from his body; his feet were  
tied to it also. Ordering his legs on line, he tried to stand  
to take the strain off his tortured arms, but he couldn't muster  
the necessary control. His head was an overwhelming sea of agony  
and he closed his eyes as nausea rose quickly. He vomited abruptly  
and continued to retch ineffectually as he tried to get his breath.  
He didn't hear the door opening.  
"Gods what a mess! You filthy dog!"  
The blow to his face loosened two teeth and broke his nose. Blood  
gushed down his chest and it was only then that he realised he  
was clad only in his briefs. He dimly heard water running but  
was not prepared when the cold liquid was sloshed over him. He  
gasped and gagged again, another bucket of water finding its mark.  
"There! Now that you're cleaner we can have a little chat."  
Jean-Luc tried to lift his head, without success. The drug they  
had used was incompatible with Humans and he felt the oncoming  
rush of senselessness.  
"Oh no you don't!"  
A rough hand pushed his head up and he felt a sharp pain in his  
temple. Blood trickled down his face as he experienced a sudden  
jolt throughout his body. He writhed within his bonds and cried  
out.  
"Now you stay with me Captain or you will be 'encouraged'  
to pay attention!"  
Catching his breath, Jean-Luc groaned and opened his eyes. The  
light lanced in, making him gag again, the pain blooming in his  
head. He tried to formulate words.  
"What?"  
"No, no, no my dear Captain. You don't ask the questions  
hereI do. Now I know a member of the alliance has been to  
see you. Who was it?"  
In desperation, Jean-Luc formed a picture of a brick wall in his  
mind and concentrated fiercely on it.  
"Now, now Captain that won't do. Here, let me give you some  
incentive to cooperate."  
The electrical current entered his head and coursed through his  
body. It was stronger than before and he screamed with the pain  
it caused.  
"Consider this Captain. I can take these transponders and  
attach them to any part of your body. Think of itin your  
spineyour genitalsthe settings give me the opportunity  
to experiment, I've never had a Human to play with."  
As Jean-Luc's body recovered, he once again formed the wall in  
his mind.  
"Stop it! It's pointless you puny Human!"  
The next shock was too high and Jean-Luc passed out.

 

 

 

 

On the Enterprise, Beverly was preparing for bed  
when her door chimed. Bidding the caller entry, she was annoyed  
to see Deanna enter her living area.  
"Hello Deanna, what can I do for you?"  
The Counsellor frowned at Beverly's tone, the feelings of irritation  
washing over her. Erecting her mental barriers, Deanna settled  
herself and offered a truce.  
"Beverly I know you don't want to see me right now, but your  
discomfort can be felt decks away. Let me helpplease?"  
What started as a glare of defiance became a grimace of contrition.  
"I'm sorry Deanna. It's justI didn't go to the transporter  
room to see him off and I'm feeling a little guilty about it."  
Deanna thought about that then shook her head.  
"No there's more."  
This time Beverly did glare.  
"Look I told you before, I don't want to talk about it!"  
"It's eating away at you Beverly. How long do you think before  
it starts affecting your workyour sleep?"  
Beverly's muttered, "It already has." was nearly missed  
by the Counsellor.  
"What has?"  
"My sleep. I dream of him Deanna. He inhabits my every thought  
awake or asleep."  
"What does that tell you?"  
"I don't knowthat I'm obsessed?"  
"Not obsessed Beverlyin love."  
Beverly wandered to the sofa and sat, distracted by her thoughts.  
"It doesn't make sense! I'm not some puerile adolescent suffering  
from an infatuation. I can't understand what's happening to me."  
Deanna came and sat next to her friend, taking her hand.  
"Beverly have you ever considered that he may just be the  
love of your life?"  
Beverly turned startled blue eyes upon the Counsellor.  
"But what about Jack?"  
"Did you feel this deeply for him?"  
"I loved him"  
"Yes, but you were young and inexperienced. Was the love  
you felt for Jack so all-encompassing, so profound?"  
"II don't know."  
"Well you've got something to think about then haven't you?  
If you can see your way through this, I think you'll know what  
to do."  
Beverly didn't register her friend's departure. She sat on the  
sofa deep in thought.  
"Did I love Jack as much as I love Jean-Luc? Well of course  
I did, I married him didn't I? We had Wesley and five glorious  
years together. Then he died. Jean-Luc has been in love with me  
since we first met. He loved me even though I married his best  
friendand I knew. I teased him and flirted outrageouslyhow  
that must have hurt himbut Deanna's right, I was youngand  
carefree. Could I have that againwith Jean-Luc? Is what  
I feel for him more mature, more based on years of friendship  
andyeslove?  
He's loved me unreservedly for thirty yearscan I love him  
with the same commitment? The same steadfast resolve? Oh God,  
what have I done?"

 

 

 

Before Will retired for the night, he put in a call to  
the Bridge.  
"Bridge, Riker here."  
"Yes Sir?"  
"Has there been any communication from Captain Picard?"  
"No Sir, none."  
"Thank you, Riker out."  
Will wandered into his bedroom, frowning in thought.  
"That's unusual, he usually reports in. Oh well, he's probably  
up to his eyebrows in negotiations and is sound asleep by now.  
He'll contact us tomorrow."  
Will stretched out on his bed and sighed. Still thinking of his  
Captain, he drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc was awakened with a slap across his face.  
"Come on Captainwakey wakey. I have things to do and  
you're holding me up."  
As he became aware, his mind seized on the image of the wall.  
His tormentor sighed.  
"Not that again! Look let me be clear. You cannot keep this  
up. Eventually I will find out what I wantyou can't hold  
out forever. Save yourself the anguish Captain. Relax and let  
your mind wanderI'll do all the work."  
Jean-Luc closed his eyes and concentrated on the image.  
"Stubborn fool!"  
Unbeknown to the suffering man, a second transponder had been  
placed over his lower spine. When the shock hit he convulsed in  
agony, barely able to scream. Some of the bricks in the wall began  
to tumble and he fought to re-assemble them.  
"I suppose you're wondering what's going on? Well I'll enlighten  
you. You were requested for a very specific purpose. Above all  
the other Captains in Starfleet, you alone have the record of  
diplomatic excellence we needed. We knew you were not in favour  
of the negotiationsyou preferred to see us join the Federation,  
didn't you? Well, as Udrom already explained, we didn't want that.  
If you hadn't been contacted by the alliance, we would have concluded  
the talks, completed the deal and nobody would've been the wiser.  
The Federation would have gotten what it wanted and we would have  
gotten what we wanted. However, the contact by the alliance changed  
all that. Once we have the information we seek, you and the Dellar  
telepath will be held as hostages until the Federation accedes  
to our demands. The rules may have changed, but the game remains  
the same. The consortiums will never give in to the alliance and  
if we can't get what we want from the Federation, we will go elsewhere.  
You, my dear Captain will become just another casualty of this  
distasteful dispute. Nowwho contacted you?"  
In the ensuing time, Jean-Luc had re-assembled the wall and he  
let it grow in his mind. He didn't hear the sneer as the shock  
coursed through his body.  
Gasping in agony, he slumped against his bonds. His tormentor  
laughed cruelly.  
"You knowyou're really quite amusing. You should see  
yourself, the great Starfleet Captain, reduced to a quivering  
mass by just a few shocks! Members of the alliance have more spine  
than you Picard, at least they suffer in silence."  
The next jolt surged through his body and he writhed in a rictus  
of anguish.  
"Just tell me the name Picard, that's alljust the name."  
Jean-Luc's mind scrambled to form the wall. As sweat dripped from  
him, he squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated, willing his reeling  
brain to hold on to the image.  
"You'll regret that!"  
He became aware of a second person in the room as he was roughly  
held upright and his briefs were torn from him. A third transponder  
was brutally attached to his testicles and he cried out at the  
assault. He was left to slump forward again, his shoulder muscles  
tearing with his weight.  
"I've been told that the testicles of a Human male are verysensitive.  
Shall we see?"  
Jean-Luc lifted his head and shook it slowly, tears in his eyes.  
"Don't"  
The pain was too much. He writhed, convulsed, vomited and passed  
out.

 

 

 

He could barely function when they woke him, but still  
he summoned the wall.  
"This is taking too long! We can't keep the dampening field  
active for too much longer. If his ship tries to locate him"  
"I'm aware of you concerns Udrom."  
"What have you done with the Dellarite?"  
Bleck, Jean-Luc's tormentor shrugged his bare shoulders.  
"He wasdamaged by the probe. We have him confined."  
Udrom stood in front of Jean-Luc and sniffed with disgust.  
"He stinks!"  
Bleck laughed and rose to stand with his superior.  
"So would you if"  
"Enough Bleck! Get the information by tomorrow or kill him."  
Jean-Luc dimly heard the door open and close and shivered when  
he felt Bleck's breath on his cheek.  
"Well Captain I suppose you heard him. What do you think  
I should do? Hmm? More of the same?"  
Jean-Luc closed his eyes and wearily stiffened the wall.  
"Ah Captainwrong answer. You are stubborn. Alright  
then, something different."  
Rough hands cut his bonds, allowing him to fall to the floor.  
He sensed movement and soon he was rudely picked up and pushed  
onto a steel chair. Once again he was tied, this time to the arms  
and legs of the chair.  
The blow to the shins was unexpected and agonising. Before he  
could process the pain, his stomach was assaulted. He was beaten  
with batons until nearly senseless, then a mild shock was passed  
through his body to revive him. The pain radiated out from his  
head, spine and testicles. His voice now a ruined parody of its  
former mellifluous quality, he still cried out, his tears mingling  
with his blood.  
Hard hands grabbed his head, forcing his eyes open. He felt the  
presence in his mind and focussed on the first thing that came  
to his battered mindBeverly.

 

 

 

 

 

Will woke the next day feeling refreshed  
and eager to get to the Bridge. He was pleased when his door chime  
sounded and left his quarters in the company of Deanna Troi. They  
entered the Bridge together and took their customary seats.  
"Good morning all. Ops, any contact from Captain Picard?"  
"No Sir."  
Will frowned and turned to Deanna, raising his eyebrows.  
Deanna centred herself and let her powerful mind reach out for  
the familiar sensation of the Captain. After a few moments she  
frowned and shook her head.  
"I can't sense him at all. Something seems to be blocking  
me."  
"What about Acryops?"  
"No, I'm not getting anything at all from the planet."  
Will straightened and placed his hands on his knees. Raising his  
head, he attempted communication.  
"Enterprise to Picard."  
Silence.  
"Enterprise calling Captain Picard, respond please."  
When no reply was forthcoming, he turned to the Counsellor and  
scowled.  
"What the hell's going on? Engineering this is the Bridge."  
"LaForge here."  
"Geordie we can't contact the Captain and Counsellor Troi  
is being blocked. See what's going on and report back."  
"Aye Sir."  
They had only minutes to wait.  
"Commander this is Engineering. They've got a dampening field  
in place."  
"Can we punch through it?"  
"I think so, but it'll take a while."  
"Do it!"  
"Why? Why the hell would they place a dampening field over  
the planet?"  
Deanna sighed and touched his hand.  
"Maybe they just want some privacy Will. We don't know all  
that much about them."  
Will ran a hand over his beard and looked sceptically at his friend.  
"Yeah well I don't like it. They never mentioned anything  
about it when the Captain greeted them."  
Deanna frowned, sensing the growing frustration in her former  
lover.  
"Be patient Will."  
He snorted and waited for Geordie to work his wonders.

 

 

 

 

 

By now the slaps to his face had become commonplace.  
His nose slowly dripped blood down his chest as he became aware  
that Bleck was showing him something.  
"Come on Picardfocus, that's it. See this? This is  
the control for the transponders. I thought you'd like to see  
me activate it."  
With sick fascination, Jean-Luc watched the man's thumb slowly  
move over the buttons. He flinched as the digit paused, then moved  
again, eliciting a cruel laugh from Bleck.  
"No not that one Picard. You pass out when I press that one.  
NoI think this one."  
His thumb hovered over a button and suddenly descended.  
Jean-Luc's head snapped back and he screamed, losing control of  
his bladder. As the shock passed, the batons struck his hands.  
He felt several bones break and he sobbed in utter misery. Again  
the hands lifted his head and Bleck's eyes bored into his head.  
"I will get in Picardyou cannot stop me."  
"Beverly"  
Bleck stood up and kicked Jean-Luc in frustration.  
"Who is she Picard? We know you're not marrieda lover  
perhaps? She must be something for you to cling to her so strongly.  
No matter, eventually we will dispose of her as well. Now, again,  
who came to you?"  
Jean-Luc closed his swollen eyes and brought up an image of Beverly,  
one he often thought of. She was in his quarters, sitting on the  
sofa, one leg drawn up sipping a cup of chamomile tea. She wore  
an emerald green skirt and a soft peach top that clung in all  
the right places. He had spoken to her and she'd turned her head,  
the light catching the fire of her hair. At that moment he knew  
he'd never seen a more beautiful woman.  
He thought of that now and when the shock hit him, he heard his  
scream as if from somewhere else.

 

 

 

 

 

It was three hours before Geordie contacted the Bridge.  
"Commander we can get through now."  
"At last! Can we find the Captain?"  
"No Sir."  
Standing, Will turned to the viewscreen.  
"Ops open a channel."  
He was annoyed to find a junior clerk had answered.  
"I'm sorry Commander Riker, your Captain is in conference  
and can't be disturbed."  
"Nevertheless I would like"  
Will stopped when an upset Deanna grabbed his arm. He swung around  
and made a cutting gesture across his throat, severing communications.  
"What?"  
"Will something's terribly wrong with the Captain! I feel  
painagonywe've got to get himnow!"  
Returning his attention to the screen, he nodded to Ops to recommence  
the link.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?"  
The clerk shifted in his chair and peered down his nose.  
"I am Frick, junior adjutant for"  
"Yes of course. I would like to speak to your superior Fricknow."  
"I'm sure I can"  
"No you can't. Get your superior now, or I'll come down there  
myself with a party of security officers."  
Frick paled somewhat and muted the sound. He could be seen frantically  
pressing buttons and talking. Abruptly his image disappeared and  
another took its place.  
"I am Dreff, senior aide to Delegate Udrom. What do you want?"  
"I want to speak to Captain Picard!"  
That's not possible at this time. We"  
"Make it possible."  
Dreff stiffened, his ebony face growing shades darker.  
"Now you look here, we don't take kindly to"  
"No you look here. We have reason to believe our Captain  
needs our help and we'll stop at nothing to get him. Do you have  
any idea what our phasers and photon torpedoes can do to your  
planet from orbit?"  
"You wouldn't dare!"  
"Believe it! Now I'm going to send down some officers and  
you're going to take them to Captain Picardunderstand?"  
Dreff pulled down the corners of his mouth and glared at Will.  
"Very well, but we will be lodging a formal complaint with  
your superiors!"  
"As you wish."  
Will severed the contact and called Data, Beverly and Worf to  
the Bridge.  
When they arrived, he briefed them.  
"Something's wrong with the Captain. I want you all armed.  
Worf, take three security personnel and go down there, find him  
and bring him back. Beverly take a med kit. Deanna I want you  
to go as wellData your responsibility will be Beverly and  
Counsellor Troi. We don't know what's going on down there and  
I don't want to take any chances."  
The assembled officers nodded and left the Bridge to gather their  
equipment and phasers. The last thing they heard was Will saying  
"Bring him home."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc felt the invasion of his mind even before  
he was fully conscious. It pervaded his thoughts, coiling around  
like a snake. He sobbed and shook his head, calling up the picture  
of his beloved Beverly. The presence expanded and pain blossomed  
encompassing everything he had. He screamed and suddenly a white  
light seared through his brain. He noted the shutdown and let  
it happen, gratefully accepting the oblivion and the respite from  
the torture.  
Bleck let Jean-Luc's head go and stood back, rubbing his temples.  
"Damn!"  
He picked up the control and pressed a button. Jean-Luc's body  
jerked, but there was no other response. He slapped his face and  
had his cohorts beat him with the batons, but still there was  
no response.  
"What have you done?"  
"I don't know! He seems to be comatose."  
"Well bring him out of it! His ship is sending down a party  
to find him, we're running out of time!"  
Bleck spat on Jean-Luc and slapped him again.  
"I don't know how! He's HumanI've never had a Human  
here before. I didn't know they were sofragile."  
"What about the Dellarite? Has he recovered yet?"  
"No."  
"Well keep working on him. I'll deflect his shipmates, you  
wake him up. We need answers!"  
After Udrom left, Bleck lifted Jean-Luc's face and noted the complete  
lack of muscle tone. He sent a shock through his body almost as  
an afterthought.  
"Noyou're gone."

 

 

 

 

 

The away team materialised in the same large building  
the Captain and Acryops had arrived in. They were met by Dreff.  
"I believe you wish to see your Captain? If you will follow  
me"  
He led them off in a northerly direction. They had gone only a  
few metres when Deanna stopped them.  
"This is the wrong way! He is"  
She turned and closed her eyes, concentrating.  
"this way."  
She led the team to the south, Dreff running to catch them.  
"Wait! You're going the wrong way. Your Captain is"  
He lifted his arm and pointed to the other direction.  
"He's lying."  
Dreff blanched, opened his mouth, then suddenly bolted.  
Alone, the team turned to Deanna.  
"This way."  
Phasers drawn, they left the building and found themselves on  
a broad street. The inhabitants scuttled out of their way, easily  
reading their belligerent thoughts. They had gone two blocks when  
an armed party came running around the corner. They immediately  
took cover as the first shots were fired. Pinned down, they were  
returning fire when Data spoke to Deanna.  
"Could you find the Captain from the Enterprise?"  
"No I don't think so."  
"Could you find him from here?"  
"II'll try."  
She closed her eyes, ignoring the phaser blasts and shots ringing  
through the air.  
"DataI thinkI can get close"  
"Can you tell the Enterprise where to put us?"  
"Yes I think so."  
Data slapped his combadge.  
"Enterprise prepare to transport to new coordinates."  
Deanna relayed her information and soon the six crew disappeared  
in a sparkle of blue light. They rematerialised outside a nondescript  
grey building on the outskirts of the city.  
Deanna gathered herself and suddenly pointed to the black door.  
"In there!"  
A short phaser blast took care of the lock and they entered at  
a crouch expecting resistance. There was none. Moving down a dark  
corridor, Deanna led them into a room that had a staircase in  
the far corner. Unerringly, she led them down three flights of  
stairs and paused at the bottom, before turning to her left and  
confronting a large locked duranium door.  
"We've got to get through that. He's closebut for some  
reasonhe's barely registering. It's as ifhe must be  
unconscious."  
Deanna sensed something much worse, but kept it to herself.  
Worf and two of his security team went to work with their phasers  
and within minutes they had defeated the locked door.  
They ran down a long corridor until Deanna suddenly stopped.  
"He's very closecheck all these rooms."  
The first two rooms were empty and in the third they found Acryops.  
Bound and unconscious, he was on the floor, still with the metal  
instruments attached to his head. Worf left two crew to stay with  
him as the rest continued with their search.  
The fifth door they came to was locked. Made of wood, it was no  
match for Worf's massive shoulder. It splintered as he crashed  
into it. They spilled into the room to find three men beating  
a senseless Jean-Luc.  
"Stop!"  
Bleck sprang to the far side of the room, reaching for a weapon.  
Worf fired and Bleck's body danced in the beam before falling  
to the ground. The two other henchmen dropped their batons and  
raised their hands. Beverly pushed forward and caught sight of  
Jean-Luc for the first time.  
"Oh my God!"  
She ran to him and crouched down, scanning him with a medical  
tricorder. Data came forward and undid the bonds, holding Jean-Luc's  
body upright. When Beverly didn't move after a few minutes, Deanna  
went to her.  
"Beverly what is it?"  
Tears were slowly rolling down Beverly's face. Without taking  
her eyes off Jean-Luc she whispered  
"There's no synaptic activitynone at all. My God what  
have they done to him?"  
"Beverly what does it mean?"  
"He's brain damaged."

 

They materialised in Sickbay, quickly Beverly's well-trained  
staff sprang into action. Acryops was placed on a biobed with  
Doctor Selar scanning him. Jean-Luc was also placed on a biobed,  
his body battered and limp.  
Beverly barked her orders to her staff.  
"We need to get him to surgery, he's bleeding internally  
and has numerous broken bones. We have to find a way to remove  
those devices attached to him and I want a level three brain scan  
initiated! Come on peoplemove!"  
Will Riker arrived just as the Captain disappeared into the surgical  
suite. Without Beverly to question, he turned his attention to  
Deanna.  
"How is he?"  
Deanna faced her Imzadi with tears in her eyes.  
"It's bad Will. Beverly says he's got no synaptic activity  
in his brainthat he's brain damaged. He's been torturedthere's  
broken bones and internal injuries and he has some devices attached  
to his body, pain inducers no doubtGods Will, why him? Why  
didn't we see the danger?"  
Will ran a hand through his dark hair and expelled a forceful  
breath.  
"I don't know, but I intend to ask our 'visitors' in the  
brig. Worf had the three you found with the Captain beamed up.  
Would you like to help me question them?"  
"You'll have to be careful Will, they're telepaths. How do  
you intend to conduct the interrogation?"  
"I'll keep my mind on the job and try to quell my angerthat's  
where you come in. I need your stability Deanna."  
The Counsellor gripped his arm and pulled him down so that she  
could plant a quick kiss on his cheek.  
"You have it Imzadialways."  
Will straightened and looked again at the surgery suite doors.  
"You'll stay here?"  
"Until you need me, yes."  
"You'll let me know?"  
Deanna nodded and Will left, his big frame filling the doorway  
as he passed through.

 

 

 

 

 

After fusing the broken bones and repairing the damaged  
internal organs, Beverly turned her attention to the transponders  
attached to Jean-Luc's body. Working first on the one on his head,  
she scanned it and was waiting for the computer to finish analysing  
it when Selar entered the room.  
With her usual Vulcan stoicism, she stood quietly looking down  
at the stricken man.  
Beverly glanced up and nodded.  
"How is Acryops?"  
"We have repaired his physical injuries, but the device attached  
to his head has, so far, defeated us. Until we can ascertain its  
purpose, we can't remove it."  
Beverly looked up and frowned.  
"Its purpose? Do you think it's linked directly to his brain?"  
"Yes Doctor Crusher, I do, but for what reasonI'm not  
sure. Perhaps it has something to do with telepathy, as he shares  
that ability with his captors."  
Just then the computer beeped, catching Beverly's attention. She  
squinted at the readout and spat  
"Those bastards! They're pain inducers all right, directly  
connected to the nerve ends. We need to check for damage to the  
spinal cord, his genitals and the neural pathways of his brain.  
We can remove them, one at a timebut very carefully. Any  
wrong move could result in further damage. We'll start with the  
one on his spine. Selar can you assist?"  
"Yes Doctor, of course."  
They gently turned Jean-Luc over; the staff wincing at the sight  
of more heavily bruised flesh. Beverly noted the device was active  
and scanned it again to see if she could deactivate it. The tricorder  
whirred and beeped, an audible click coming from the device, its  
lights extinguishing.  
"Right it's off. Hand me a retractor."  
It took ten minutes of gentle prising, but the evil transponder  
finally came free. With the autosuture she closed the resulting  
wound, then they gently turned him back over.  
"Ok, that's one. Now we work on his testicles."  
With the same gentle determination, the device was removed, then  
Beverly moved to Jean-Luc's head.  
"Selar run a scan to see how deeply this one is embedded.  
I'll deactivate it and connect him to a neural scanner."  
The two Doctors worked silently, Selar finishing first.  
"Doctor Crusher the device has infiltrated the parietal lobe.  
The tendrils extend to the corpus callosum. Removing it is going  
to be extremely difficult."  
Beverly looked up and smiled grimly.  
"Well we'll just have to be very careful then, won't we?"

 

 

 

 

After an hour of fruitless work they were  
no closer to removing the transponder.  
"Dammit! The filaments are too deeply embedded. How the hell  
are we supposed to remove the bloody thing?"  
Selar raised one perfect eyebrow and thought.  
"Why don't we re-activate it?"  
"What? Why would we do that?"  
"Perhaps we can ascertain how to make the device retract  
the tendrils."  
Beverly stared at her fellow Doctor for some seconds before coming  
to a decision.  
"That might just work. Alyssa hand me a tricorder."  
She scanned the device and, with the aid of the main computer,  
re-activated it. With its small lights blinking, it emitted a  
beep and a click.  
"Right. Now we see if we can"  
Suddenly Jean-Luc's body arched up from the bed and shuddered.  
His breathing became laboured and the cardiac monitor sounded  
an alarm.  
"He's convulsing! Tricordrazine, ten cc's."  
As the drug infiltrated his system he relaxed until he was again  
lying quietly on the bed.  
Beverly checked her tricorder.  
"What happened? I was scanning the deviceDamn! I somehow  
triggered an electrical discharge. That must be how the pain was  
induced. Ok, if that's true then this must be"  
With another click of activation, the top half of the circular  
device rotated half a turn and stopped, the lights staying on.  
Selar consulted the computer readout.  
"The filaments have retracted two point five centimetres.  
The corpus callosum is now free of infiltration."  
"Good. Now according to thisI should calibrate the  
next command toThere!"  
The circular piece completed its turn and, after a moment's soft  
beeping, the lights switched off and the device deactivated.  
"The filaments have fully retracted. We should be able to  
extract the anchoring spikes from the sub cutaneous tissue and  
bone without further concerns."  
With some gentle prising, the device came free leaving three nasty  
wounds in Jean-Luc's left temple. The application of an autosuture  
erased the injuries and his head was cleansed of the spilt blood.  
A series of scans was initiated to assess the damage to his spinal  
cord and genitals, Beverly frowning deeply as she read the results.  
"There has been significant disruption to the neural pathways  
of his spine. He's going to require intensive regen therapy to  
regain the full use of his legs. We'd better check"  
Beverly looked up from the terminal and addressed her staff.  
"With the exception of Doctor Selar, I would like you all  
to leave us now please."  
Her staff filed out and Beverly looked frankly at her fellow Doctor.  
"We should check his genitalssee if he can attain an  
erection and ejaculate. I thought he would appreciate some privacy."  
Selar said nothing as Beverly retrieved the necessary equipment.  
Placing a stimulator band around the base of his flaccid penis,  
she activated it and waited. Nothing happened.  
"Damn. The nerves have been damaged here too."  
She removed the band and covered him with a sheet.  
"We can move him to his private room. I'll set up a regen  
field over the worst of his injuries and connect him to a neural  
stimulator. Selar I want you to concentrate on Acryops. Remove  
the device on his head and compare the damage with Captain Picard.  
I want to know if their conditions are similar. We might be able  
to bring him out of this comatose state if we can learn a little  
more. Once the Captain is settled in his room, I'm going down  
to the detention cells and ask our 'visitors' some questions.  
Keep me appraised of any changes, no matter how slight."  
"Yes Sir."  
The next hour was spent installing Jean-Luc in his private room  
and connecting him to the numerous monitors and regen fields.  
Once she was satisfied he was safe and comfortable, Beverly left  
Sickbay for the Brig.

 

 

Will was quickly becoming angry.  
"What do you mean 'Diplomatic immunity'?"  
"There is no need for you to get upset Commander. As I explained  
I was acting on the orders of my government and, as your Captain  
was directly involved with the government, he was under my jurisdiction."  
"That makes no sense! You kidnapped and tortured a member  
of the Federation, a Starfleet Captain, and you claim you have  
immunity from prosecution? How could you think you could do such  
a thing and get away with it?"  
"You forget we are a non-aligned species. What happens on  
our planet is not your concern."  
"It is when it involves our Captain!"  
"You're getting angry again Commander. Your thoughts tell  
me that you wish to do me physical harm. Does that not make us  
of similar mind?"  
"No! I'm angry because you hurt my Captain, whom I also consider  
a friend, and you show no remorse. In fact you calmly sit there  
and pass off your actions as nothing more that departmental policy.  
I ask you again, why did you capture and torture Captain Picard?"  
"And I answer you again Commander, I was acting on orders  
from my government. I know nothing other than that."  
Will stalked in front of the energy field separating him from  
Bleck.  
He was about to erupt when Deanna gripped his arm. He looked down  
into the black depths of her eyes and relented. She stepped up  
to the barrier.  
"I sense your uneasiness Bleck. You're hiding something."  
Bleck stood and walked closer.  
"I've heard of your speciesBetazoid aren't you? Why  
don't you just read my thoughts?"  
"I'm not fully Betazoid, I'm half Human. I'm not telepathic,  
my gift is empathy. I sense how people feel."  
"I see, how interesting. Not very useful in my line of work."  
His sardonic smile made Will bridle, his dark thoughts bringing  
a wider smile to the Arellian.  
"Now Commandera little restraint would be beneficial."  
Will glowered at the man, but said nothing. Deanna cleared her  
throat.  
"What I said before still stands. You're hiding something."  
"We all hide things we'd rather not share."  
"Amongst a species of telepaths I find that unlikely."  
"Perhaps, but I'm not amongst telepaths heream I?"  
"No, that's true, although I have my ways."  
This brought a laugh from the prisoner.  
"Come now Counsellor. You can't possibly expect to pit your  
mind against mine! You wouldn't stand a chance."  
"I won't enter a contest, nohowever I still maintain  
I can get what I want from you."  
Bleck folded his arms across his chest and rocked back on his  
heels. Looking down his nose, he snorted.  
"I doubt that."  
Deanna walked slowly back and forth in front of the imprisoned  
man.  
"Why do you feel a stab of guilt when Captain Picard's name  
is mentioned?"  
Bleck pursed his thin lips and frowned.  
"What happened wasunfortunateunintentional. I'd  
never had a Human to work on before. I had no idea their brains  
were so fragile."  
"So why did you do it?"  
"Conventional methods were taking too long. I had been requested  
to retrieve information and your Captain was beingreticent."  
"He was fighting you."  
"In a limited fashion. It was only a matter of time before  
he broke, but time was not something I had a lot of."  
"So what did you do?"  
Bleck smiled in an oily way and winked at the Counsellor.  
"Wouldn't you like to know?"  
"The Captain is in a comatose state. It seems reasonable  
to assume you assaulted him telepathically. Can he be retrieved?"  
A frown creased Bleck's dark brow and Deanna felt the regret wash  
over her.  
"To be honest, I don't know. As I said I'm unfamiliar with  
Humans."  
"I find it unusual that you feel sorrow for one of your victims.  
Considering what it is you do, I would have thought a measure  
of indifference was required."  
"Normally you would be correct. I don't usually feel anything  
for mysubjects."  
"But Captain Picard?"  
Bleck sighed and sat on his bunk, lowering his head.  
"He was one of Udrom's schemes. He has no finesse, no pride  
in what he does. He brought your Captain to me and expected answers  
immediatelyhe had no appreciation of the effort involved  
from either my subject or me. Captain Picard wasisa  
unique individual, far stronger than I anticipated. I would've  
liked more time to study himare all Humans as strong as  
he?"  
"So you do regret what you did to him?"  
"Yes, I suppose I do."  
"Then you'll be willing to help me!"  
Beverly stopped next to Deanna and glared at Bleck.  
He stood, smiled and sauntered to the force field.  
"And who might you be?"  
"I am Doctor Beverly Crusher and I need some answers to help  
my patient."  
"Your patient being?"  
"Captain Picard."  
"You care for hima great deal. Doesn't that affect  
your objectivity?"  
"Mind your own business! What did you do to him?"  
Bleck smiled and cocked his head to one side.  
"Your terrified he might not recover! In fact this is an  
old fear, one that has paralysed your feelings from being explored  
with him. Yes! You're the woman he thought of! Do you know heloves  
you?"  
Beverly pinched the bridge of her nose as Deanna gripped her shoulder.  
It was the Counsellor who spoke next.  
"You have felt remorse for what you did to the Captain. Whatever  
was going on down on the planet is over. You are in our custody  
and will remain so at least for the interim. What possible motive  
could you have for continuing to assault the Captain by not helping  
him now? You've already admitted you admire him. It may well count  
in your favour in the future if you help us."  
"If I answer you, will you tell me how you maintain your  
mental barriers against my probing?"  
"Bleck"  
"Alright! I used an invasive method called intrascanning.  
I forced myself into his mind and quashed all his individuality.  
I took away his sense of self, his memories, everything that made  
him who he was. With another Arellian it would enable me to sort  
through the detritus and retrieve any information I wanted. It's  
a little drastic and time consuming, but normally, the subject  
recovers with very few after effects."  
"Can youreverse the process?"  
"I don't know, I never had to before. What you're askingI  
would have to attempt to restore himI don't think I can."  
Beverly's hands formed into fists at her sides.  
"Well will you at least try?"  
"In all truth Doctor, I think it would do more harm than  
good."  
"So you won't help."  
"Look at it from my perspective Doctor. If I try to help  
you and he worsens it will not go well for me, now will it? As  
your fellow officer has already pointed out, I'm in trouble. I've  
no wish to exacerbate my position."  
"But Goddamn it Bleck"  
Deanna held Beverly's arm silencing her.  
"Can you tell us what it was you were trying to get from  
the Captain?"  
Bleck sighed and shrugged his shoulders.  
"Apparently your Captain had been contacted by the alliance.  
Udrom wanted to know whom, exactly, contacted him. With a name,  
he could unearth the cell and find the rest of the collaborators.  
It would've taken a lot of sympathetic people to get them in to  
see Captain Picard.he was in a Federal building after all.  
It could have been veryproductive."  
Will stepped forward frowning.  
"The alliance?"  
Bleck sighed again and waved his hand dismissively.  
"Ask Udrom.I don't delve into politics."  
The three Starfleet officers left the holding cell and paused  
in the corridor. Once the doors had closed, Beverly hissed  
"Bastard! He won't help, the lowlife lump of"  
Deanna held up her hand.  
"Beverly how is the Captain? Has there been any change?"  
"No! In fact we've found he's got spinal damage and damage  
to his genitals, let alone the brain damage. My God what he must  
have gone through!"  
"What about Acryops?"  
"No joy there either. He's in some kind of coma, induced  
we think, by a device attached to his head."  
"Like the Captain had?"  
"No, different. What are you thinking Deanna?"  
"Acryops is a powerful telepath. If he recovers maybe he  
could help with Captain Picard."  
Beverly's eyes opened wide.  
"Yes! I'll get back to Sickbay straight away and Selar and  
I will double our efforts."  
She left, her lab coat flapping. Will looked down at his best  
friend.  
"Do you think it's a real chancethat Acryops can help?"  
Deanna watched Beverly's receding back.  
"I don't knowI hope so."

 

 

 

 

 

Selar looked again at the readout and ran the medical  
scanner over the instrument attached to the Dellarite's head.  
She picked up a tricorder and passed it over his temple, frowning  
at the result. Tapping in some commands, the device emitted a  
soft beep and two halves of a circle separated, giving access  
to its innards.  
Again Selar scanned it and inputted some more commands. Two of  
three lights went off and, after further study; Selar reached  
down and pressed a button on the device. The final green light  
went red, then extinguished. She checked the twin on his other  
temple to find it deactivated. Watching the computer monitor,  
Selar gently lifted the device from Acryops' temple. It came away  
with some skin attached, causing a slight bleed. It was soon repaired  
and the other device removed. Acryops now lay free of the instruments.  
Beverly entered the room and stood silently by his bed, reading  
the results of the scans.  
"Is there any synaptic activity?"  
"Yes Doctor, but very low grade. He is still deeply unconscious;  
yet better than he was before. I believe he will recover, although  
I do not know when."  
"How is Captain Picard?"  
"No change Doctor. Did you find out anything useful?"  
"I can tell you he was violated telepathically. His mind  
was infiltrated by another's thoughts and everything he was has  
been subjugated. All memories, all sense of selfall gone."  
Selar frowned and shook her head.  
"I was with him just a few moments ago. Physically he is  
recovering well. We passed a stimulator down his legs and got  
a good response. He is a very strong individual Doctor. Given  
the level of care he will receive here, I can only predict he  
will recover."  
It was as close to an emotional response as she could muster and  
Beverly was grateful.  
"Thank you Selar, I'm sure you're right. I think I'll go  
and sit with him for a while. Will you be alright here?"  
"Yes Doctor."  
Beverly left the main room and entered the quiet surrounds of  
the Captain's private room.  
He lay on the bed, now dressed in blue Sickbay pyjamas and covered  
by a light blanket. Beverly drew up a chair and sat beside him  
and, watching his chest rise and fall, was lulled into a light  
doze.  
She awoke an hour later, startled to find her head on her arms  
next to his head. She rose and stretched and froze when she looked  
down at him. His eyes were open.  
"Jean-Luc?"  
Nothing.  
She passed her hand in front of his unseeing gaze and nothing  
happened. She snapped her fingers. He didn't blink. Checking the  
monitor, she picked up a medical tricorder and scanned him. She  
sighed when she read the results and gently closed his eyes.  
"Sleep my love, we'll find a way to bring you home."

 

 

 

For the next thirty-six hours, Jean-Luc's body continued  
to heal but his mind stayed closed down. No stimuli could rouse  
him, he responded to nothing.  
Beverly taped his eyes shut to prevent damage when she found he'd  
gone through the night with his unblinking eyes open.  
Acryops, on the other hand, started to improve. His wounds healed,  
his brain activity began to manifest itself in increased action  
in his neural output and, on the fourth day, his eyes slowly opened.  
Beverly was by his side.  
He looked groggily around him and raised his hand to his head.  
Beverly gently took his hand and placed it on the bed.  
"Easy there, you've had quite a spell."  
He focussed his eyes on her and summoned his voice.  
"I have beenaway."  
"Yes. You were assaulted and suffered a brain injury. We  
have been treating you."  
He thought about that for a while then said, his eyes widening  
"The Arellians!"  
"It's alright, they failed. We have their torturers aboard  
confined to our Brig. They can't hurt you any more."  
He grabbed Beverly's hand and stared into her eyes.  
"NoCaptain Picardhe won't be able to withstand"  
"He's here."  
"Here? In Sickbay? Is he alright?"  
Beverly turned her head and looked at the door to his private  
room. Turning back to her patient, she shook her head sadly.  
"No Acryops, he's not alright at all. Apart from severe physical  
injuries he suffered a brain assault that we cannot treat."  
Acryops attempted to sit up. Beverly gently pushed him down.  
"No you don't, I want you to rest."  
"But Iwhat kind of assault was it? Who did it?"  
"Bleck was the assailant. He said it was called intrascanning."  
Acryops closed his eyes and shook his head.  
"That's very bad. In a Dellarite it causeswell you've  
seen what it does to us."  
"He did it to you too? I though that might be the case, but  
we know so little about these kinds of assaults."  
"You must let me up, I think I can help your Captain."  
"How?"  
"With luck I can infiltrate myself into his mind and undo  
the damage Bleck has done."  
"With luck? I need something more substantial than that."  
Acryops brushed Beverly's hands aside and slowly sat up. He leaned  
forward slightly and grasped her forearms.  
"I've had some experience recovering people from this kind  
ofviolation. Let me trywhat have you got to lose?"  
Beverly frowned, looking down at the earnest Dellarite. Coming  
to a decision, she freed her arms.  
"Alright, we'll do it, but let me set up some monitors first.  
I want to record everything."  
While Beverly was busy, Acryops had a drink and something to eat.  
When she was ready she wheeled him into Jean-Luc's room.

 

 

 

 

At his request, Acryops was stationed behind  
Jean-Luc's head. He leaned forward and placed both hands around  
Jean-Luc's brow and closed his eyes. He slowly lowered his head  
until his brow touched the crown of the Captain's head.  
For some time, nothing happened. Beverly carefully monitored both  
patients, noting increased brain activity in the Dellarite. Acryops  
soon began to sweat and his body started to tremble. Beverly was  
about to say something to him when she saw the first spike of  
activity in Jean-Luc's brain waves.

 

 

 

 

In the quiet of Jean-Luc's mind, an intruder presented  
itself. At first not disturbed, he soon became aware of pain emanating  
from around the intruder. He tried to repel it, turning his mind  
to the task and expending all his energy to make it go away.  
The pain increased. He was in trouble, he knew it. Using all the  
force he could muster, he tried to escape the intruder, but it  
pursued him, eventually cornering him.  
Panicked and exhausted, the pain an overwhelming sensation in  
his mind, he fell to his knees, sobbing with anguish.  
"No moreplease, no more."  
He sensed, rather than saw the bright light. With it came a lessening  
of the agony and he became aware of a gentle voice.  
"Jean-Luccome to me."  
All he could see was the light.  
"Where are you?"  
"I am hereI am everywhere. Relax and open you mind."  
"No! I must hold onthey will"  
"They are gone Jean-Luc. They hurt you and I will restore  
you. All you have to do is open your mind."  
He shook his head.  
"It's a trick! You will take my"  
"No Jean-Luc. It's Acryops who talks to you. Trust me as  
I have trusted you. Open your mind."  
Jean-Luc sobbed and gasped.  
"I don't know what to do!"  
Beverly watched as the struggling Acryops began to groan in pain.  
His grip tightened on the Captain's head, sweat running freely  
from both men.  
"Relax Jean-Luc, don't fight me. Think of Beverly, think  
of the one you love."  
The image of his beloved came easily to him. She appeared in his  
mind and he sighed with the sense of serenity she brought.  
"That's it Jean-Luc let the image carry you. Expand it in  
you mind, take the image to another plane."  
In his mind the image of Beverly transformed. No longer an alluring  
figure sitting on his sofa, she was in uniform and on duty. On  
the Enterprise. The Enterprise!  
Suddenly a multitude of images flooded into his mind. Will, Deanna,  
Data, everyone he knew was there. His quarters, the Bridgeand  
then pictures of his past, his childhood in LaBarre, the Academyit  
was a riot of images, his memory cascading back.  
He gasped, his body arching up from the table. Acryops maintained  
the connection, though it obviously caused him great pain. His  
own gasps could be heard above Jean-Luc's  
He tried to open his eyes and encountered the tape. Panicking,  
he violently shook his head from side to side, his hands restrained  
at his sides.  
Beverly administered a hypospray of light sedative and quickly  
removed the tape.  
Jean-Luc's eyes snapped open, his chest heaving. He stared wildly  
around the room until he saw Beverly. He stilled immediately,  
a sob ripped from his throat.  
"It's alright! Jean-Luc listen to me. You're safe, it's over.  
You're on the Enterprisetake it easy now, just relax, everything's  
ok."  
She looked up briefly to find Acryops slumped in his chair. Calling  
Selar, he was taken from the room and treated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc tried to find his voice. Still ruined from his torture  
all he could manage was a whisper.  
"Beverly."  
She turned to him, tears in her eyes.  
"I'm here Jean-Luc."  
"My hands"  
"Here let me release them."  
Once his hands were free, he raised shaking arms to his beloved  
Beverly.  
She was in them in a moment. Clutching him around the shoulders,  
she whispered in his ear,  
"I love you."  
It was the words he'd longed to hear. Tears welled up in his eyes  
and he hugged her with all his meagre strength.  
"Beverlymy sweet Beverly, I have loved you for so long"  
"Shh my love. I want you to rest now. You've been through  
hell and back. It's time for you to get better."  
She straightened and gently ran her hand down his face. He could  
feel the sedative dogging his mind and he sighed, whispering,  
"Will you be here when I wake up?"  
"Just try and stop me."  
He smiled as his eyes drifted closed and, as he slipped into sleep,  
the smile stayed on his face.

 

 

 

 

Acryops was lying quietly when Beverly came to see  
him. Seemingly over his ordeal, he'd been bathed and had a change  
of pyjamas. Beverly tenderly took his hand.  
"Thank you so much for what you did. You restored to me the  
man I love. There is nothing I can do to repay you"  
"Nothing is required dear Doctor, it was my pleasure to be  
able to help. But I must tell you, he is not fully restored. His  
memories are complete up to his capture, but he remembers nothing  
of his tortureyet."  
"Yet?"  
"He will rememberhe must."  
"Must he? Wouldn't it be kinder to leave him..?"  
"Doctoryou know as well as I that that isn't possible.  
If I don't help him to retrieve those memories, they will surface  
in the future only to devastate him. Do you want that?"  
Beverly frowned and shook her head.  
"Then let me continue to help him. Is he healedphysically?"  
"Mostly. We discovered his shoulders were badly damaged and  
his larynx will need treatment, but by and large, yes he's healed."  
"Good. He will need to be strong. I know from my contact  
with his thoughts that he's experienced great anguish in his past.  
His assimilation by the Borg, his mistreatment at the hands of  
Gul Madredhe is a very resilient Human."  
"Yes he is, I only wish he didn't have to be."  
"I don't think I'm breaking any confidences in telling you  
that he loves you."  
Beverly smiled wistfully and closed her eyes.  
"I know. He's loved me for a very long time."  
"And I also know you love himin equal measure."  
She nodded, her eyes still closed.  
"Then do something about it dear Doctor! The strength of  
love you share should not be denied."  
Her eyes opened and he could see the resolve in their blue depths.  
"Oh, I intend to Acryopsbelieve me when he's recovered"  
The telepath held up his hand, a smile on his face.  
"Say no more Doctor, I can hear you loud and clear."  
Beverly spent some time checking his monitors and ordering more  
tests for the Dellarite. Eventually she was back at his side.  
"Acryopsabout his memorieshow will you do it?"  
"With his permission, I will re-enter his mind and find the  
thoughts. They're buried deeply within his subconscious, his way  
of bearing what happened to him."  
"What did he do?"  
"I'm not certain, being unfamiliar with Humans, but I'd guess  
that he closed his mind down at the height of the assault. It's  
a technique we learn to protect ourselvesit's what I did.  
I suspect that Bleck was unaware that either of us could do it."  
"The Human brain isn't really supposed to be able to do that.  
Under extreme duress unconsciousness can be achieved and a certain  
amount of disassociation can occur, but a shutdown such as you  
describewell it's unusual to say the least. He has had mind  
melds with Vulcans, perhaps that aided him."  
"Yes I detected the thoughts of others in his mind. I didn't  
identify them as Vulcan though. What an interesting man. At a  
cursory level he's calm and cool, almost glacial in his thoughts.  
When he's provoked his anger is towering yet still completely  
controlled. No wonder he was able to withstand so much of Bleck's  
torture. He would be the most interesting Human I've ever met."  
"He's many things Acryops, probably the most complex man  
I know."  
"Well he's going to need all his strength Doctor."  
Beverly nodded and, as she turned to leave, looked back over her  
shoulder.  
"He's also got us, don't forget that."  
The telepath smiled and settled back in his bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly was indeed by his side when he woke up. Jean-Luc  
stretched and sighed. Beverly took his hand and squeezed it gently.  
"Nowfirst things first. No talking. I'm doing some  
work on your larynx and I don't want all my good efforts put to  
waste. Second I want you to eat somethingnothing heavy,  
a light salad perhaps and some Earl Grey? Then, and only then,  
can we 'talk'."  
Jean-Luc sighed again and grinned at his best friend. Nodding,  
he was pleased when Beverly raised the head of his bed, allowing  
him to see better around his room.  
She straightened the covers on his bed then left him, soon returning  
with a tray, which she placed across his thighs.  
"Ok, here's your meal. Eat it all."  
He attempted to throw a mock salute but grimaced as he raised  
his arm.  
"Steady Jean-Luc. You damaged the muscles and ligaments of  
your shoulders. We'll be applying regen treatments, but it'll  
be a while before they're comfortable."  
He raised his eyebrows in a classic 'how?' gesture.  
Not knowing quite what to say, Beverly offered  
"I think you must've fallen."  
He seemed satisfied with that and looked down at his meal. Picking  
up his fork, he pushed the food around, not really attempting  
to eat it. Beverly noticed and took the utensil from him.  
"If you don't hurry up and eat, I'll hand feed you!"  
He gave a 'you wouldn't dare' look and Beverly snorted.  
"Just try me."  
He looked hard at her and decided she was serious. He gestured  
for the fork and, having once again secured it, began to eat his  
food. Mollified, Beverly drew up a chair and sat beside him.  
She waited until he had finished the food and was sipping his  
tea until she mentioned how long he would have to stay.  
"You'll be here about a week, all being well."  
His eyebrows rose then he scowled.  
"Yes, I knowyou want to be discharged to your quarters,  
but that's not possible yet. Be patient Jean-Luc. Rest assured  
I won't keep you here a moment longer than necessary. I promise."  
He tenderly took her hand and pulled her towards him. When she  
was close enough, he kissed her gently then whispered  
"Why am I here? What happened to me?"  
Beverly straightened and softly stroked his face.  
"I can't answer that Jean-Luc. When you're a bit stronger,  
Acryops will come and see you. He will be able to answer all your  
questions."  
He frowned and shook his head, but Beverly forestalled him.  
"No Jean-Luc don't. You trust me don't you?"  
He nodded.  
"Then trust me now. Acryops will be able to help you far  
more than I can at this point. Just be patient a little longer,  
ok?"  
His expression was one of puzzlement, but he took her at her word.  
Nodding he raised his arms very slowly and she sank into them,  
tears in her eyes.

 

 

 

 

The next few days were routine for Jean-Luc.  
His regen treatments continued and his body responded well. He  
was allowed out of bed on the third day and enjoyed sitting in  
the observation room, watching the passing stars. Beverly hedged  
whenever he asked how he came to be injured; Acryops was waiting  
until the Captain was strong enough. That time came when he started  
to nag about being released from Sickbay.  
Jean-Luc was seated beside his bed reading when Acryops and Beverly  
came in to see him. He closed the book and smiled at his visitors,  
but soon felt their sombre mood.  
His voice recovering well, he said softly  
"What is it?"  
Beverly sat on his bed and gathered her thoughts.  
"Jean-Luc you have been asking me how it is you were injured.  
I have brought Acryops here to help you to remember what happened."  
Jean-Luc frowned and shook his head.  
"I don't recall being injured at all. The last thing I remember  
is beaming down to the planet with Acryops. That fall you mentioned  
must have damaged my head. Perhaps I hit it?"  
"No Jean-Luc you didn't hit your head, in fact there was  
no fall. I told you that to allay your concerns. What happened  
is far more sinister."  
"What then? What happened to me?"  
The Dellarite moved to stand behind the Captain and placed his  
hands around Jean-Luc's head.  
"Captain Picard I am going to use a technique used to retrieve  
hidden memories. You may experience some pain, but please, try  
to relax and cooperate with me. It will be difficult if you resist."  
Uneasy, Jean-Luc looked up at Beverly to find her smiling at him.  
"It's alright Jean-Luc, I'll be here."  
He swallowed and took a big breath then relaxed his body.  
Acryops leaned forward until his brow touched Jean-Luc's head  
and began to softly chant. Jean-Luc found the mantra lulling and  
soon found his mind drifting. As Acryop's hands tightened on his  
head, he suddenly felt the presence of another in his mind. He  
rebelled instantly, his body tensing and his mental shields coming  
up. Deep in his mind he heard a voice.  
"No Captain you must relax. I will not hurt youlet  
me in."  
Jean-Luc tried to shake his head but the Dellarite's grip was  
too tight.  
"No! Get out!"  
"Captain I must do this. You have buried memories that will  
eventually harm you. Permit me entry to your mind."  
"I won'tI can't!"  
Pain bloomed in his head and he groaned deeply.  
Still with his eyes tightly closed and his head connected to Jean-Luc,  
Acryops called to Beverly.  
"Sedate him!"  
Jean-Luc never heard the hiss of the hypospray but his body slumped  
in the chair. Taking advantage, Acryops renewed his efforts.  
"Captain Picard relaxit's not hard, just let me in."  
"NoI wait, stopplease I don't want"  
As his barriers fell he sensed the complete infiltration of Acryop's  
power. He was everywhere; in everythingthere was no more  
Jean-Luc.  
"That's it Captain just rest now and let me help you. I give  
you my word, I will not harm you."  
"Yes."  
"Good. Now you remember beaming down to the planet with me?"  
"Yes."  
"What happened then?"  
"I don't know."  
The presence intensified and pain skittered around his mind.  
"Yes you do Captainwhat happened?"  
"II met with Udromhe took us toquarters."  
"Yes, that's right. We had a room each and some time on our  
hands. What did you do?"  
Jean-Luc frowned and began to sweat slightly.  
"Ilaid out my thingsand II rested."  
"Good, very good. Did you rest long?"  
"Nothe door bell rang."  
"Who was it?"  
"NO! I mustn't tell!"  
"It's alright Captain you can tell menothing will happen,  
I promise."  
"Ino you will hurt her. I must stop you."  
"Not me Captainanother man. I am here to help you.  
Tell me, who was it?"  
"It wasit was Nerella."  
"She was from the alliance?"  
"Yeshow do you know?"  
"Tell me what happened."  
"She told me of their struggle and asked me to abandon the  
talks. She left and I didn't know what to do."  
"I see. What did you decide to do?"  
"I went to see you. You were injured! There was blood and  
Isomeone else was there. They had a weapon and I was injected  
with a drug."  
"Yes, sleep took you. Where were you when you woke up?"  
Jean-Luc stiffened and Beverly noted an increased heart and respiratory  
rate.  
"There was painoh God there was pain everywhere. I'm  
tied to a poleI can't stand up. My head aches badlyI'm  
sick."  
"Is there anyone else there?"  
"Noyes! He douses me with water and hits me. He asks  
me who came to see me. I think of a wall."  
"That was very brave Captain."  
"I have to protect her."  
"Then what?"  
"He puts something on my head and it gives me shocksterrible  
pain. The wall begins to crumble but I rebuild it. He's angry.  
He attaches another device on my spine. The pain is excruciating  
and I pass out. Can we stop now?"  
"No CaptainJean-Lucthere is more, isn't there?"  
"Yes."  
"Tell me."  
"When I wake up I imagine the wall. It infuriates him and  
he puts another device on my testicles. I can't stand the painit's  
too much. I'm sick again and he cuts me loose and puts me in a  
chair. There are more people there; they hit methey don't  
stop until I'm almost unconscious. He shocks me again and the  
wall falls. I think of Beverly. He is curious. They beat me again  
and I feel my bones break."  
"You still fought him?"  
"YesI had to."  
"What did he do Jean-Luc?"  
"The beating stopped and he gripped my head. He pushed himself  
into my mind and I couldn't stop him. The pain was overwhelming  
and I saw a bright light, then everything was calm and he was  
gone."  
"Is there anything else?"  
"No. My next memory is youin my mindthen Sickbay  
and Beverly."  
"The man who assaulted you is called Bleck and he, along  
with the two who beat you, are confined to your brig. When you  
wake up you will feel violated and distressed. It is very important  
for you to remember that it is over; that you are safe and recovering  
aboard you ship and that the woman you love is with you. Is there  
anything else?"  
"Nowill you leave now?"  
"Yes Jean-Luc I will leave, but you will remember."  
Acryops slowly withdrew from Jean-Luc's mind and a calm descended,  
the lingering pain banished. He slipped into a deep sleep, untroubled  
by dreams.

 

 

 

 

Beverly had two orderlies place Jean-Luc in his  
bed and, once she was certain he was resting peacefully, left  
to join Acryops in her office.  
"How did it go?"  
"It went well. As I suspected he is a man of great fortitude.  
He withstood his assault with courage and determinationa  
lesser man would have succumbed."  
"What is his prognosis? Does he remember what they did to  
him?"  
"Yes, sadly he recalls it all. He will be traumatised and  
will require professional help. I take it you have appropriate  
staff?"  
"Of course. The trouble with Jean-Luc is getting him to talk  
about it. He tries so hard to keep things to himself, he tends  
to withdraw."  
"Well Doctor I don't need to tell you how important therapy  
will be for him. Who will do it?"  
"Counsellor Troi. She's helped him in the pasthe trusts  
her."  
"Good. I will go to my quarters now Doctor, I'm somewhat  
fatigued."  
"As you wish Acryops. II want to thank you for what  
you've done."  
"Not at all Doctor, I'm glad I could help."

 

 

It was late in the night when he woke. At first he  
lay quietly, calmly listening to the quiet sounds of Sickbay,  
until he began to feel uneasy. There was something bothering him,  
it was on the periphery of his mind but when he tried to focus  
on it, it slithered away. He sighed and turned over and, as he  
made himself comfortable, the realisation came crashing in on  
him. He sat bolt upright and shouted  
"NO! NOOOOO!"  
Beverly came at the run. She burst into his room and ordered the  
lights half up. He was holding his head, sobbing in despair. She  
attempted to embrace him but he shrugged out of her arms. He fled  
the bed and raced into the bathroom, disappearing into the toilet.  
When Beverly reached him, he was kneeling at the bowl retching  
piteously. She retrieved a wet towel and eased him back, wiping  
his sweating face and dabbing at his tears.  
He lowered his head onto her shoulder and gasped, his breath hiccupping.  
"It's over Jean-Luc, you're safe now, and they can't hurt  
you any more."  
His arms embraced her as he strove for control. After a while  
she heard his deep voice.  
"Why Beverly? Why did it happen again? Why me? Why  
do these things continue to happen to me?"  
Beverly began to rock him gently and stroke his trembling back.  
"I don't know Jean-Lucit's so unfair."

 

 

 

 

Almost an hour later, Beverly, Deanna and Jean-Luc  
were in his room, talking quietly.  
"CounsellorDeanna with all due respectI don't  
want to talk about it right now. Later perhaps"  
"No captain now is the most important time. Do you have a  
complete memory of what happened to you?"  
He nodded, not trusting his voice.  
"Tell me."  
He glanced at Beverly and caught her nod. Facing Deanna, he took  
a large breath and, haltingly at first, then with more confidence,  
told her of his experiences at the hands of Bleck and his cronies.  
When he finished, he lay back on the pillows and let the tears  
roll unhindered down his face. There was silence in the room as  
the two women digested the horrors he had spoken of.  
Beverly, wiping at tears of her own, sat on the bed and took him  
into her arms. He embraced her tightly, drawing strength from  
her.  
Deanna waited until he found himself and gently cleared her throat.  
When she had his attention she assessed his mood.  
Though obviously upset, the seeds of his recovery were already  
taking hold. He was angry and felt the dreadful helplessness of  
violation, yet he still exuded the determination to face what  
had happened. She had an idea.  
"Captain are you aware that Bleck is in the brig?"  
"Yes."  
"Would you like to see him?"  
Shock was the first emotion she felt from him, followed by the  
more base need for revenge.  
"Can I take a phaser?"  
"No Sir, I don't think that would be advisable."  
"Perhaps not but it would make me feel a whole lot better  
to vaporise him."  
Deanna's laughter eased the tension.  
"I'm sure Sir, however I have something a little more therapeutic  
in mind."  
"You want me to face my demonsis that it?"  
"In a way. I was present at his interrogation. I believe  
he feels genuine remorse for what he did to you Sir. It might  
help for you to hear that for yourself."  
"And when did you envisage this taking place?"  
"What about in the morning, after breakfast?"  
"Well Counsellor as always I will be guided by your expertise,  
though I'm not completely sure I agree with you. I will however,  
accede to your wishes."  
Deanna stood over her commanding officer and smiled down at him.  
"Thank you Captain. I'll see you in the morning."  
The doors sighed open and she left. Beverly looked carefully at  
Jean-Luc and ran her fingers gently down his face.  
"How do you feel? Do you think you can sleep?"  
He pursed his lower lip and shook his head.  
"No, but that doesn't mean you should loose any sleep. Go  
back to your quarters Beverly, I'll be fine."  
It was Beverly's turn to shake her head.  
"Nup, I think I'll stay here, if you don't mind and seeing  
as how were both so wide awake, how about a game of Backgammon?"  
They were still playing when the day shift came on duty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc felt the first stirrings of trepidation  
as they neared the holding cells. They stopped out of the range  
of the door sensors and he ran his hands over his thighs nervously.  
Deanna clasped a hand on his arm and said softly,  
"It's alright Captain, he can't hurt you."  
Jean-Luc looked down at the Counsellor and mustered a wan smile.  
Although not feeling particularly brave, he garnered his courage  
and stepped forward, activating the doors.  
Bleck was lying on his bunk and came to his feet when he heard  
the door. Jean-Luc walked to within a few centimetres of the force  
field and stared at his tormentor.  
Bleck stared back, his cold pink eyes appraising the Captain.  
Bleck stepped back and folded his arms.  
"You look different."  
Jean-Luc said nothing, just continued to stare.  
"You are attempting to shield your thoughts. Why?"  
"The reading of another's thoughts is considered among Humans  
to be an invasion of privacy."  
"I can't help my natural abilities. It's how I communicate."  
"I disagree. You 'communicate' by torturing those who are  
helpless."  
Bleck dropped his arms and lifted his chin.  
"I was doing my superior's bidding! Surely you of all people  
understand the chain of command?"  
"I understand you drugged me, attached devices to my body  
with the sole purpose of inflicting pain, beat me and when all  
that failed to get you what you wanted, you violated my mind in  
an invasive procedure that left me brain damaged. If that is the  
result of your 'chain of command' then I don't understand it at  
all."  
"Why did you resist? It would have been so much easier if  
you had just told me what I wanted to know."  
"And let others become your prey? I don't think so. Let me  
ask youwhy the intrascanning? You must have known it would  
damage me."  
Bleck turned and sat on his bunk, pulling one foot up.  
"To be honest Captain I didn't know. I'd never had a Human  
subject before. I didn't want to do it but I was under orders.  
We were running out of time and my superiors felt it was the only  
way we were going to get the information we sought. For what it's  
worth, I'm sorry I did that to you."  
"But not sorry for torturing me?"  
"I was doing my job."  
"You disgust me."  
"That's not all Captain. Given the chanceyou would  
do me harm. Are we so different?"  
Jean-Luc turned on his heel and left, the two women following  
him. He marched out into the corridor and didn't stop until he  
reached his quarters. Pausing briefly to watch the women enter,  
he scowled and went to the replicator to order himself an Earl  
Grey.  
"Must you stay? I would appreciate some privacy!"  
"Captain what are you feeling right now?"  
Jean-Luc brusquely placed the cup on the desk and began to pace  
around the room.  
"What do I feel? I feel angrylivid. That bastard is  
right. I would tear him limb from limb if I had the opportunity.  
Maybe he's got it right. Perhaps we are alike."  
"Captain he tried the same thing with Will. It's perfectly  
natural to be angry after what you've been through, but I honestly  
don't believe you would harm him. Feelings of revenge are normal.  
That will give way to calmer emotions when you've had a chance  
to process what has happened to you. Captain people like Bleck  
are trained to bring out emotions in their captives. Having the  
ability to read thoughts gives him an advantage you can't defend  
against, at least not under normal circumstances. Allow yourself  
your feelings but don't dwell on them, they will not overpower  
you."  
Jean-Luc stopped his pacing and sighed expansively. Lowering his  
head, he let his shoulders drop and did his best to ease the tension  
in his body.  
"Thank you Counsellor. I will keep that in mind."  
Deanna stood and made for the door. At the threshold she turned.  
"I'll see you this afternoon Sir."  
He nodded and she left. Beverly took his arm and guided him to  
the sofa. When they were both seated, she wriggled in behind him  
and started to massage his shoulders.  
"Hmm that's good."  
"Shh no talking, just relax."  
He allowed his head to nod forward, his hands resting between  
his knees. Beverly coaxed his muscles into relaxing, the most  
reluctant needing her thumbs to win the battle. As his tension  
eased, her massage took on a more sensual action, the kneading  
becoming caresses. She moved to one side and cupped his chin with  
her hand. What she found took her breath away.  
He looked at her with undisguised love. Not shielding it, not  
glancing away, just a quiet contemplation of her with tear filled  
hazel eyes. She leaned slowly forward and brushed her lips over  
his. He closed his eyes and sighed. She kissed him again, lingering  
on his lips until he started to respond. Gently, he slid his lips  
over hers sensuously, his hands creeping up to tangle in her vibrant  
red hair. It was her turn to sigh.  
Her eyes drifted closed and he quested with his tongue, requesting  
admittance. She opened to him slowly, tenderly meeting his tongue  
with hers. The kiss deepened and she felt her desire rising. Starting  
as a heat low in her groin, it rose and bloomed over her body  
making her moan softly into his mouth.  
He gently pulled back and held her face in his hands. In a deep  
whisper he said,  
"I love you Beverly Crusher, I have loved you nearly half  
of my life."  
Her tears welled and slipped down her cheeks. He took the tears  
in his fingers and smiled tenderly.  
"No my love, don't cry. Now is not the time for sadness."  
She sighed and kissed the tip of his nose.  
"I'm not sad my beloved, in fact I'm happy. It's just that  
I've wasted so much time. I should have told you"  
"Shh. You've told me now, at least I think you have"  
Beverly chuckled softly.  
"Oh Jean-Lucfor the record, I love you, with every  
fibre of my being, and I too have loved you for a very long time."  
His lips descended on hers again and he kissed her with all the  
love he could feel. When his hand gently cupped her breast she  
didn't resist, in fact she moaned again. Emboldened, he kneaded  
the breast and when the nipple rose, he tweaked it and laid her  
back on the sofa.  
When they were both lying with each other, Beverly snaked one  
hand between them and ran her fingers up the inside of his thigh.  
He sighed but when she gently caressed him through his trousers,  
he suddenly broke the kiss and sat up.  
"Jean-Luc?"  
He looked down at himself and frowned deeply.  
"Something's wrong."  
"What is it?"  
"I'm notthat is I haven't got anI don't understand  
this. I've waited, I've fantasised about this for so longand  
I can't get an erection?"  
He was becoming angry and Beverly strove to allay his pique.  
"Jean-Luc, it's alright"  
"Alright? I don't think so Beverly"  
"No you don't understand. You know those devices Bleck placed  
on your body? Well they caused some nerve damage. All those regen  
treatments you've been having restored the damage in your legs.  
It went so well; we thought you didn't need to know just yet.  
I was hoping that the nerves to your genitals would have been  
repaired also."  
"You were hoping? When were you going to tell me? How long  
have you known?"  
"We've known since you were first brought aboard and"  
"We?"  
"Doctor Selar and I."  
"How did you find out?"  
Beverly reddened slightly and moved to take his hand.  
"Really Jean-Luc that's"  
"How?"  
"I put a stimulator on you penis and it failed to achieve  
an erection."  
"And you knew all this timeand Selar knows."  
Beverly nodded, not knowing quite what to say.  
"I think you'd better leave."  
"Jean-Luc"  
"Now Beverly, I want to be alone."  
Beverly rose and had one more go at reaching him.  
"Please Jean-Luc, let me explain"  
He shook his head brusquely and stepped to the door, his head  
lowered.  
As Beverly passed him she paused, but he didn't acknowledge her.  
As the doors sighed closed she found herself out in the corridor.  
"Damn!"  
Her next move was to enquire of the computer as to the whereabouts  
of Deanna Troi.

 

 

 

 

 

That afternoon the Captain did not show up for his  
appointment. Deanna wasn't surprised.  
"Computer, location of Captain Picard?"  
"Captain Picard is in his quarters."  
Armed with this information, Deanna left her office.  
Jean-Luc was standing at the viewports of his living area when  
the door annunciator went off.  
"Computer, who is at my door?"  
"Counsellor Deanna Troi."  
His face hardened and his hands made fists at his sides. Raising  
his voice slightly he called out,  
"I don't wish to have visitors thank you Counsellor."  
Deanna closed her eyes and sighed. She lifted her head and addressed  
her superior.  
"I know that Captain, but I think you would be better served  
by letting me in."  
"I don't think so."  
"Captain I will use my override if I have to. Please let  
me in."  
There was silence for a while, followed by a barked,  
"Come!"  
Still off duty, he stood stiffly in civilian clothes, his anger  
radiating from him.  
"Captain"  
"Counsellor I am aware that, by now, you will have talked  
with Doctor Crusher. I don't want to discuss it, I don't want  
to analyse it and I don't want to see you! Your presence here  
is unnecessary and I would appreciate it if you would leavenow."  
"Captain I understand your reluctance to"  
"Counsellor!"  
"No Captain hear me out. After everything else that's happened  
to you recently, you find that, after harbouring deep feelings  
for Beverly all these years, you can't consummate the relationship.  
It must be devastating for you and I do understand."  
He sighed expansively and put his hands in his pockets. Turning  
his back on the Counsellor, he stared out at the stars. Deanna  
stepped quietly up to him and rubbed her hand over his shoulder.  
"Come on Captain, sit down and I'll get you a cup of tea."  
Eventually he turned his head and regarded the patient Counsellor.  
Knowing she wouldn't go away, he sighed and took a seat on the  
sofa.  
Having retrieved the tea, she sat in the chair nearby and watched  
as he sipped the fragrant brew. Judging the moment carefully,  
she spoke softly.  
"How do you feel right now?"  
He looked up and glared, then relented and pursed his lips.  
"Angrybetrayedhumiliatedworried"  
"Alright, let's deal with the anger first. What are you angry  
about?"  
He was silent so long Deanna thought she would have to prompt  
him, but finally he sighed.  
"I'm angry that it happened. On top of everything elseit's  
just too much. I'm angry that Beverly didn't tell me, it was not  
the ideal way to find out and I'm angry that I can't do anything  
about it. Yet again I have to shut up and bear the unbearable."  
"You certainly don't have to 'shut up'"  
"Don't I? I have no say in my treatment! I just show up and  
do as I'm told. No one asks me if I mind, or if I can copeI  
simply acquiesce."  
"Alright I'll grant you that. What about betrayal?"  
"She didn't tell me! She let me wander around the ship thinking  
everything was all right. I had no idea my legs had been damaged  
and I certainly didn't know that she'd tested my genital response  
in Sickbayin front of Selar!"  
"So you see that as a betrayal of trust?"  
"Yes!"  
"Captain did you know that Beverly was on the away team that  
recovered you from the planet?"  
He looked up, his eyebrows rising.  
"No."  
"Well she was. When she got to you she could detect no synaptic  
activity in your brain. None Captain. As far as she was concerned,  
you were irretrievably brain damaged. She had you transported  
up to the ship and spent hours repairing your physical injuries.  
When she discovered the nerve damage, she asked her staff to leave,  
except for Selar, and tested your responses as best she could.  
Under the circumstances do you think she should have acted differently?"  
Somewhat chagrined, he stared at his toes.  
"No, I suppose not."  
"She wanted you to be stronger, more balanced mentally before  
she gave you the full report on you injuries. Remember you'd just  
recovered devastating memories and confronting Bleck. I think  
she was trying to spare you more anguish. Of all the people on  
this ship, she would be the least likely to betray you."  
He nodded and rubbed his face with his large hands.  
"Ok, what about humiliation?"  
"I see that my feelings of humiliation in regard to the test  
are unfounded but, as a man, it was embarrassing to discover myinadequacy  
as I did. I wanted nothing more in this universe than to"  
"I understand Captain, but surely you realise that, with  
treatment, this condition will pass? And if I know Beverly, the  
opportunity will present itself again."  
He reddened somewhat and clasped his hands on his crossed knee.  
"Well that takes care of 'worry'. I trust Beverly will remedy  
the situationit is, after all, in her best interests."  
Deanna laughed, glad that the Captain could find some humour in  
his embarrassment.  
"So tell me Captain, present difficulties aside, how do you  
feel about Bleck now?"  
Jean-Luc sat back and put one arm along the back of the sofa.  
"I don't understand people like him. He's like Madredcompletely  
unconcerned about what they're doing to their victims. He only  
expressed remorse over what he did to me mentally because he was  
unfamiliar with Humans. It was almost an afterthought."  
"Captain you have to remember these people are a direct result  
of the circumstances in which they live. They know no different.  
Madred and Bleck have been cultivated to perform for their masters.  
I'm not apologising for them, but we have to accept that people  
like them exist. All we can do is try and destroy them when we  
find them."  
"And not get caught by them."  
That brought a small smile.  
"Yes Sir."  
"You know at first, when he was trying to get the information,  
I thought of a wall. Every time I felt it crumbling, I rebuilt  
it. But when things got really bad, all I could think of was Beverly.  
She was my last coherent thought. She saved me Deanna."  
Deanna got up and seated herself next to him. Taking his hand,  
she looked into his eyes.  
"Talk to her Captain, she's very worried about you."  
He smiled and nodded.  
"I will."  
"Alright, I'll leave you now. If you have trouble sleeping  
ask for help and if you have any nightmares"  
"I'll call Beverly."  
"I was going to say me, but Beverly will do. Good afternoon  
Captain."  
He bade her farewell and sat back. Sighing, he knew he had some  
bridges to mend.

 

 

 

Beverly was studying her computer terminal when  
she became aware she was being watched. Looking up, she was delighted  
to see the identity of her voyeur.  
"Hello Jean-Luc."  
He stepped into her office and produced, from behind his back,  
a single long stemmed red rose. He smiled at her gently and said  
softly,  
"I'm sorry Beverly. Can we start again?"  
She accepted the rose and twirled it under her nose, taking in  
the delicious scent.  
Making sure none of her staff were in earshot, she giggled and  
waved her hand.  
"Sit down my love, we have to talk."  
He sat and, as was his custom, crossed his legs elegantly.  
"Ok. First up I'm sorry I wasn't more forthcoming with you.  
You had every right to know"  
He held up his hand and shook his head.  
"No Beverly, it's alright. I understand."  
She smiled at him and continued.  
"I appreciate your forgiveness Jean-Luc, but I am sorry.  
It won't happen again. Now, would you like to know the full extent  
of your injuries?"  
He nodded and she began.  
"We'll start with your bones. You had numerous breaks to  
the bones of your hands. Your shoulders were severely damaged,  
as you already know, and you had displaced fractures in both tibias.  
Both patellas were dislocated. There were several breaks to the  
bones in you feet as well. Your nose was broken, three teeth dislodged  
and there was a hairline fracture of the right eye socket. You  
had three broken ribs on the right, two on the left and your right  
clavicle was shattered. Your internal injuries were just as extensive.  
Damaged kidneys, bruised liver and stomach, contused lung, torn  
pancreas and ruptured larynx. Then there was the nerve damage.  
The device in you head was directly connected to your brain. There  
was some residual swelling around the meninges but we were able  
to treat that. The damage to your spine was successfully remedied  
by the regen treatments and all that remains is the damage to  
your genitals. I would expect that, with appropriate treatment,  
that too will be healed."  
"And what constitutes 'appropriate treatment'?"  
"Hopefully just extensive regen therapy."  
"Hopefully?"  
Beverly leaned forward and reached for his hand. He uncrossed  
his legs and gave her his hand as she smiled lopsidedly.  
"If the regen treatments don't work, we'll have to try electro  
stimulation."  
"I see. I'm not going to like that am I?"  
"No Jean-Luc you're not, but let's not cross that particular  
bridge 'til we get to it eh? I'm sure the regen therapy will work  
just fine."  
"So when do we start?"  
"Right now!"  
He frowned and reddened slightly.  
"Ah Beverlyhow private can we keep this?"  
"Very privatewe're going to do it in your quarters."  
He sighed with relief and followed Beverly out into Sickbay proper.  
Beverly turned to him and smiled.  
"You go to your cabin. I'll get what I need here and meet  
you in about ten minutes. Ok?"  
He nodded and left, feeling much better.

 

 

 

 

When his door chime sounded he bade her entry with  
a smile on his face. She was carrying some equipment so he stepped  
forward to help her.  
"Take it into your bedroom Jean-Luc. We'll set it up there."  
They moved into the bedroom, placing the equipment on the bed.  
"Go and strip down to your briefs while I get things ready  
here."  
He soon returned to find the apparatus set up on his bed.  
"Ok lie down with your legs apart. Good. Now put your head  
on the pillows and relax, this won't hurt."  
She aligned the regenerator between his legs, angled the head,  
aimed it at his groin and turned it on. It hummed gently and bathed  
the room in a pleasant blue glow.  
"How's that?"  
"It's warmrather pleasant."  
"I'm using quite a strong field. With luck, if we do this  
three times a day for four days, we should get the desired result."  
"Are you making fun of me?"  
Beverly laughed and lay down beside him.  
"No my love, no pun intended. I want you betterand  
soon!"  
"I too wish to bewhat is it Data says?fully functional."  
Beverly chuckled before kissing him tenderly. He tried to deepen  
the kiss but she pulled back, placing her hand on his chest.  
"Oh no you don't! You behave yourself or I'll Have Selar  
do these treatments."  
He harrumphed but settled back on the pillows with a rare full  
grin gracing his handsome features. Beverly was delighted.

 

 

 

 

As promised, he had the regen treatments over the next  
four days, but Beverly was disappointed after her enquiries.  
"So this morningwhen you woke upyou didn't have  
a?"  
He frowned and shook his head.  
"No. And I haven't since I came back aboard."  
"I see."  
"What is it? Have the treatments failed?"  
"I'm not sure. Jean-Luc I'm going to put a stimulator band  
on yourwell, you know."  
He reddened somewhat, but nodded. Fortunately still in the privacy  
of his quarters, Beverly retrieved the device and instructed him  
how to attach it and where. When he was ready, she remotely activated  
it, waited a few moments then asked,  
"How is it? Is it having any effect?"  
His terse "No." spoke volumes.  
"We'll try a higher setting."  
A few more moments passed before she enquired,  
"Anything?"  
"There's a slight reaction, but not what I'd call an erection."  
Beverly shut off her control and sighed. Allowing Jean-Luc the  
privacy to divest himself of the device, she waited for him in  
the living area. He entered tying his robe.  
"So Beverlywhat now?"  
"I'm afraid we need to take a more aggressive approach."  
"And that is?"  
"Electro stimulation of the nerves."  
"What will that entail?"  
"Well it will have to be done in SickbayI'm sorry Jean-Lucbut  
I'll ensure your privacy. It involves feeding hair-thin wires  
directly into the main nerve trunks and stimulating them with  
low current. It will beuncomfortable for you, but we can  
offer pain relief."  
"I see. Will it work?"  
Beverly came to him and led him to the sofa. Having seated them  
both, she took his hand.  
"Provided the nerves haven't been irreparably damaged. If  
that proves to be the case, I'll clone you some new nerves. Either  
way we will repair this Jean-Luc, it just may take a little time."  
He nodded thoughtfully and looked down at their joined hands.  
"When?"  
"This afternoon, after you've seen Deanna. There are a few  
things I need to set up, one thing thoughI will need Selar's  
help Jean-Luc. It's simply not something I can do alone."  
He grimaced and frowned, closing his eyes. Beverly released his  
hand and tenderly ran her fingers down the side of his face.  
"Jean-Luc?"  
Without opening his eyes, he raised his arms and enfolded her  
into his embrace. She buried her head in his neck and wound her  
arms around his chest. He breathed in deeply, infusing his senses  
with her scent. His kisses to her hair caused her to lift her  
head. He opened his eyes and they stared at each other, the love  
and desire clearly evident. He leaned forward and kissed her gently  
and she fell into his kiss headlong. It started breathily but  
soon deepened into an expression of unbridled passion. His tongue  
entered her mouth and duelled with hers sensuously. The blush  
of arousal soon coloured her alabaster skin as her heart skipped  
in her chest. When he cupped her breast, she moaned wantonly into  
his mouth. His free hand went to the closure at the back of her  
uniform and the fastener slid open. He gently pulled the material  
down her shoulders and she freed her arms so he could slide the  
sleeves off her. Now his hands could caress her through the lace  
of her bra. Her nipples stood erect, pushing against the fabric  
as his fingers found then gently pinched them. She arched her  
back and held his head as he kissed her. He slowly eased her back  
onto the sofa and she swung her legs up. He lay beside her, his  
hand kneading her breasts. Breaking the kiss, he mouthed along  
her jaw, her skin burning wherever he touched. Down her neck,  
he plundered her skin as his hands relieved her of her bra. The  
garment fell unnoticed to the floor as the skin of his hands skimmed  
over the heated flash of her breasts. With his palms, he circled  
the straining nipples as his mouth moved closer. Taking the breasts  
in his hands, his mouth descended on first one, then the other  
swollen nub.  
Beverly's breath hissed through her teeth as he grazed her nipples  
with his tongue. He sucked her further into the heat of his mouth  
and nipped at her gently, before again suckling strongly. She  
moaned and arched up to him as his hand drifted down her belly  
to push the uniform down her lithe body. She helped him by lifting  
her hips, then her legs one at a time, until the uniform was gathered  
at her feet.  
Jean-Luc's mouth left her then and he stood. He moved to her feet,  
doffed her socks and shoes, then pulled the uniform from her legs.  
He removed his robe and briefs and gently draped himself over  
her, kissing her deeply.  
Although unable to attain an erection, he still felt passion and  
desire for the woman he loved. He broke the kiss and lapped his  
way back to her breasts, teasing and arousing.  
Beverly had no idea why he was doing this, but she revelled in  
his attentions. Her body was an instrument he was playing like  
a maestro. Every touch, every caress inflamed her, increasing  
her need. As he masterfully suckled her breasts, she held his  
head, pressing him to her, silently asking for more.  
His hand slid down her flank to her thigh. Using feather-like  
touches, he encouraged her to part her legs and dallied in the  
copper curls covering her mons. Beverly moaned and lifted her  
hips, inviting him to touch her intimately for the first time.  
He did not disappoint her. With one thick finger, he traced her  
outline, then gently slid the digit the length of her. Her body  
quivered. Again and again he slid his finger over her engorged  
clitoris and probed her entrance, coating his hand in her dew.  
His mouth released her breast and his head slipped free of her  
grasp. Kissing his way down the flat plain of her stomach, he  
drank in her aroma, her unique scent.  
Kneeling between her legs, he watched as he slowly inserted his  
finger into her heat, feeling her contract around him, letting  
his imagination furnish how it would feel around his penis.  
With his free hand he opened her labia and saw her throbbing pearl.  
He leaned forward slowly and, very gently, feathered his tongue  
over it.  
Beverly writhed and gasped, sensuously bearing down on his pistoning  
finger. He introduced a second finger and began to curl the fingers  
internally as he thrust them. Increasing the pressure of his tongue,  
she began to jerk rhythmically as he lapped at her.  
"Oh God Jean-Lucyesyesmore, just a little  
more"  
He smiled and he allowed his mouth to fully engulf her. His tongue  
swirled over her clitoris as his fingers slothfully pushed in  
and out of her. Her hips rose and fell in time with him and she  
began to moan continuously. She released a sudden flow of lubricant  
and her body started to flex.  
Jean-Luc suddenly sucked the clitoris into his mouth and grazed  
it with his teeth and his fingers quickly plunged into her.  
Her body bowed up from the sofa as the climax surged through her.  
She shrieked his name as her hands clenched the cushions under  
her head, but he wasn't finished. Maintaining the suction on the  
turgid pearl, he feathered his tongue over it firmly while his  
fingers continued to plunge in and out of her.  
A second, then abruptly a third orgasm manifested before he slowly  
reduced his ministrations and allowed her to recover.  
As she lay panting and moaning his name, he slid his fingers free  
and kissed her labia tenderly. He stretched out beside her and  
waited patiently for her to regain her senses.  
Her eyes eventually opened and she sighed expansively. She turned  
onto her side and cuddled into his embrace, kissing him languidly.  
Jean-Luc allowed his hand to trail along her side and back, idly  
drawing random patterns on her heated skin.  
Blissfully, Beverly raised her head and looked at her lover.  
"Oh God Jean-LucI needed that, thank you my love."  
"My pleasure."  
"Did it help?"  
"Not physically, but mentally it was something I've thought  
about doing for years."  
Beverly chuckled and kissed him again.  
"I think we better get you fixed up as soon as possibleI've  
some fantasies of my own."  
"Have you now? Care to enlighten me?"  
Beverly blushed and wrinkled her nose.  
"Nobut I will show yousoon I hope."  
"In that caseI can't wait."  
He kissed her once, then again before drawing back and looking  
deeply into her eyes.  
"I love you Beverly."  
"And I you."

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc entered Deanna's off ice a much  
happier man. Although mightily frustrated at his inability to  
have penetrative sex with Beverly, he was nonetheless overjoyed  
at being able to bring her pleasure. His confession about his  
long held fantasy had liberated him and his body still resounded  
with Beverly's passion.  
Deanna sensed his mood immediately.  
"Captain, come in. Would you like some tea?"  
"Thank you Counsellor, that would be delightful."  
Once they were seated with their drinks, Deanna centred herself.  
"Captain I sense your happiness. Is it anything you want  
to talk about?"  
"Not really. Let's just say it's of apersonal nature."  
"I see. Well I'm glad you're feeling better. Tell me, how  
are you sleeping? Any nightmares?"  
"I'm not sleeping all that well and yes, there's been nightmares."  
"The torture? Bleck?"  
"Yes. I'm back in the room and he's holding the control to  
the transponders. I'm begging him to stop, but he just laughs  
and presses the buttons. Sometimessometimes it's not me  
who feels the pain though."  
"Oh? Who does then?"  
Lowering his head, he whispers  
"Beverly."  
"I see. Captain do you remember telling me that the last  
coherent thought you had was of Beverly? That she saved you?"  
"Yes."  
"Well I think your subconscious is allowing her to save you  
again by taking the pain for you. It's not an uncommon manifestation  
in cases such as yours. I wouldn't dwell on it.  
What do you do when you're woken by a nightmare?"  
"That depends. If it's a bad one I call Beverly and we sit  
and talkor readjust having her there is enough to  
dispel the fear."  
"But you don't go back to bed?"  
"No, sleep is no longer possible."  
"I would like you to consider a technique you've used in  
the pastdirected dreaming. You need your sleep Captain.  
It may help."  
He nodded and smiled.  
"Have you given any more thought to Bleck? How do you feel  
about him now?"  
Jean-Luc sighed and shook his head.  
"I still don't understand himI don't think I ever will.  
How can a being inflict such pain on another and feel nothing?  
I understand what he did and why he did itbut stillit  
saddens me that such creatures exist."  
"And your feeling of violence towards him?"  
"Abating, although there are times"  
"Understandable Captain. Will says that the Federation will  
allow him and his cohorts to be tried for abduction and torture,  
but Udrom will escape prosecution. We can't apprehend him; we  
have no jurisdiction on the planet."  
"I expected as much. I've submitted my report to Starfleet,  
now they know about the true situation on the planet, I doubt  
we'll be having any more contact with them."  
"How do you feel about that?"  
"Somewhat frustrated. I would've liked to sort the problems  
out diplomatically, at least give the alliance an equal voice,  
but like so much more about the Arellians, we'll just have to  
turn a blind eye."  
"Captain Beverly has told me about the moreaggressive  
therapy you have to undertake. I'm sorry."  
"Yeswell that's something I'll have to overcome."  
"Beverly said she was hopeful"  
"As am I Counsellor."  
Sensing the Captain was withdrawing from the conversation, Deanna  
brought the session to a close.  
"Very well Captain, we'll finish for today. I'd like to see  
you tomorrow afternoon."  
Jean-Luc nodded and stood, pulling down on his shirt. He turned  
to leave, but hesitated at the door. He looked over his shoulder  
and smiled.  
"Thank you Deanna."  
The Counsellor smiled back and nodded.  
"You're welcome Captain."

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc entered Sickbay somewhat reluctantly.  
He wasn't at all sure he wanted to do thisbut what choice  
did he have? He trusted Beverly implicitly and if she said this  
was the treatment he needed, then so be it. Stillwires,  
electric shockshe shuddered and his usually confident stride  
faltered. Before he could lose courage, nurse Ogawa came to meet  
him.  
"Good afternoon Captain. Doctor Crusher is ready for you,  
if you'll come with me?"  
She led him into a suite of rooms off to one side. Beverly looked  
up and smiled warmly at him and nodded to her nurse.  
"Thank you Alyssa. Come in Jean-Luc."  
He noted that Selar stood innocuously to one side, studying some  
monitors. Jean-Luc summoned a smile for Beverly and stood quietly,  
awaiting instructions.  
"We'll leave you for a few minutes Captain. Please disrobe  
completely and lie on the bed. You may cover yourself with the  
blanket."  
He nodded, his smile disappearing. Quickly shedding his clothes,  
he folded them in a neat pile and picked up the blanket. Lying  
back on the bed, he was just covering himself when Beverly returned.  
She paused at the door.  
"Are you decent? Can I come in?"  
"Yes."  
Beverly and Selar came in and busied themselves with setting up  
their equipment. Beverly chose to update Jean-Luc.  
"Now you know basically what we're going to do?"  
"Yes. You're going to pass thin wires into the nerve trunk  
and stimulate the area with mild electric shocks."  
"Uh huh. As I've already told you, it will be uncomfortable  
for you and there will be pain relief, but not until we have completed  
the therapy."  
"Why? Why not before?"  
"Because we need your input. We need you to tell us where  
you feel the impulses. If you have the analgesia too soon, you  
won't be able to help us."  
He closed his eyes and nodded. He felt Beverly's hand grip his  
shoulder briefly and he opened his eyes to smile at her.  
They were a few moments more calibrating the terminals before  
Beverly spoke again.  
"Well we're ready. How about youare you ready?"  
Not completely trusting his voice, Jean-Luc nodded.  
Beverly folded the blanket up his legs up to his waist. He felt  
the application of an antiseptic to four places in his groin,  
then Beverly pulled a monitor closer to her. From a surgical tray  
she picked up a thin wire and turned to him.  
"Ok, I'm going to pass the first wire. You won't feel it  
pierce the skin, but you will feel a pressure and maybe a jolt  
when we puncture the nerve."  
Jean-Luc felt Beverly lay her hand flat on his skin then felt  
nothing. He was about to ask if she'd started when he did indeed  
feel a pressure. It built to becoming uncomfortable when suddenly  
there was a quick twinge as the wire entered the nerve.  
Beverly watched the monitor intently as she sited the wire and,  
when satisfied, looked up and smiled at the Captain.  
"Ok? That's onethree to go."  
He lay quietly as the subsequent wires were inserted and sited.  
As with the first, the sensations were uncomfortable, but not  
exactly painful.  
"Good, they're all in place. Selar I want you to keep an  
eye on the enzyme output. I don't want it to exceed ten point  
two. Jean-Luc we're going to give you the first shock noware  
you ok?"  
"Yes."  
Beverly gave his hand under the blanket a quick squeeze then returned  
her attention to her instruments.  
"Right. Here we go."  
Beverly flicked a switch and Jean-Luc cried out in pain. A terrible  
burning sensation ran down his genitals and settled as a sharp  
ache in his testicles.  
"Where Jean-Luc? Where do you feel it most?"  
Through gritted teeth, Jean-Luc gasped,  
"My testicles."  
Beverly stopped the power surge and watched the monitor as she  
resited the wires.  
She reactivated the instrument and again the Captain couldn't  
contain the cry of pain that was wrenched from his throat. Gripping  
the bed with all his strength, his back bowed and his legs flexed.  
"Where now?"  
"My penis and testicles!"  
"Good! Hold on Jean-Luc, just a little longerSelar  
what's his heart rate?"  
"It has risen eighteen percent and is still rising. Enzyme  
output is at seven point four."  
A sob was torn from the stricken man as Beverly slightly raised  
the surge.  
"Hold on Jean-Luchold onthere!"  
She terminated the power and immediately took a moist cloth and  
wiped his sweating, tear stained face. As Beverly comforted the  
distressed Captain, Selar administered an analgesic and removed  
the wires. She lowered the blanket and left quietly.  
Jean-Luc raised shaking hands and covered his face, crying silently.  
Beverly took him in her arms and held him tenderly.  
"Shh Jean-Luc, it's over."  
As the pain dissipated he slowly regained his composure and let  
his head rest back on the pillow. In a rough whisper he said,  
"How did it go?"  
"Good, Jean-Lucit was a good result. The very fact  
that you felt so much pain shows that the nerves are still transmitting  
properly."  
He sighed and closed his eyes.  
"So that's it then?"  
When she didn't answer his eyes opened and he was treated to the  
sight of his lover wiping tears from her lovely face.  
She shook her head slowly.  
"No my love. We will have to repeat it three, maybe four  
more times. I'm so sorry Jean-Luc"  
He closed his eyes again and shook his head, while reaching for  
her hand.  
"It's not your fault. Will it get any easier?"  
"No, I'm afraid not."  
"Oh."  
"Jean-Luc"  
"Whenwhen will you?"  
"Over the next three or four days. We need to give the nerves  
time to regenerate."  
"Soonce a day then?"  
"Uh huh."  
"I see. Can I go back to my quarters now? I'd like to rest,  
if I may."  
"Of coursedo you want any help?"  
"No, I'll be fine, thank you."  
Beverly stood and looked down at him, feeling dreadful for having  
to put him through such pain on top of what he'd already suffered.  
She left him and waited outside. He soon appeared looking pale  
with dark smudges under his eyes.  
"Come on, I'll walk you to your cabin."  
She linked arms with him and they walked slowly through the corridors,  
neither one speaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such was his dread the following day he  
couldn't eat any breakfast. Already exhausted from a broken sleep  
he sighed as Beverly remonstrated with him.  
"But Jean-Luc you barely had any dinner last night! If you  
don't eat breakfast your blood sugar levels will drop dangerously  
low and"  
He held up his hand, stopping her mid flight.  
"BeverlyI promise I will have something to eat afterwell  
I think you know."  
Beverly huffed out a breath and considered arguing with him. Knowing  
what was in store for him tempered her angst however and she gave  
in.  
"Well okbut you promise? You will have something substantial  
after the therapy?"  
He nodded a small smile appearing disarming her completely.  
They left his quarters and strolled to Sickbay, his steps slowing  
as the approached.  
Beverly squeezed his arm and whispered in his ear.  
"It's ok Jean-Lucit'll be over soon."  
As he did the previous day, he entrusted himself to the only woman  
he'd ever truly loved and, as it was before, the therapy was excruciatingly  
painful. This time it was Beverly who gave him the painkiller  
and he lay sobbing while it suffused his body.  
He clung to her desperately, willing himself to regain control.  
"Oh God BeverlyI can'tI can't do that again"  
"Shh my loveit's alrightyou'll be alright in  
a minute."  
As the pain left him he sighed and relaxed, letting the tension  
leave his tortured body. Beverly gently stroked his face and wiped  
away his tears. When he looked up at her he felt his heart swell  
with love. He took her hand and kissed her fingers, making her  
chuckle.  
"Feeling better?"  
He sighed and nodded.  
"Good. You get dressed nowyou have a date with a plate  
of food."  
He sighed again and rolled his eyes. In truth, he wasn't at all  
hungrythe last thing he wanted to do was eat.  
"Beverly I will have something soonjust not quite yet,  
alright?"  
"But Jean-Luc you promised"  
"And I will uphold that promiselater."  
Knowing what he'd just been through, Beverly acquiesced.  
"Oh all right, but you make sure you have something decentnot  
some snack!"  
"Aye Sir!"  
She laughed and slapped him on the arm.  
"Well off you go then, I'll meet you after shift."  
He returned to his quarters, rested for an hour then buried himself  
in work. He didn't eat lunch or anything else. When Beverly called  
at 1700 he was trapped as she requested he tell her what he'd  
eaten.  
"What did I have? Well let's seeI hadummchicken  
salad with lemon sorbet afterwardsoh and a muffin with my  
tea this afternoon."  
"You! Eat a muffin?"  
"Well I thought it appropriate."  
"Ok I buy that. Now what will we have for dinner?"  
"Actually Beverly I thought I'd just have some soup and a  
bread roll and go to bed, I'm very tired."  
She frowned, but didn't see through the deception.  
"Ok, I'll see you in the morning then. Call me if you need  
anything."  
"I will."  
As the doors sighed closed Jean-Luc closed his eyes and shook  
his head.  
"Forgive me BeverlyI'm just not hungry."  
He did retire early, his empty stomach not troubling him in the  
least. When the nightmare woke him later he was sweating heavily  
and felt light headed. He rose shakily from his bed and staggered  
to the bathroom to wash his face, but his legs went from under  
him before he reached the door. He supported himself on all fours  
as he shook his head.  
"Steady Johnny"  
He grasped the doorframe and regained his feet. Taking a deep  
breath he entered the bathroom and managed to wash his face. Sleep  
now banished, he went to his desk and activated the computer.  
Soon ensconced in ships business, he didn't notice the passage  
of time until his door chime sounded hours later. Taking only  
enough time to don a robe, he called to the visitor,  
"Come."  
Beverly breezed in and stopped dead in her tracks.  
"Jean-Luc you look awful!"  
"Good morning to you too Beverly."  
She came to him and grasped his arm.  
"You haven't shavedand you're still in you pyjamas.  
How long have you been up?"  
He extricated his arm and moved to the replicator.  
"Oh just an hour or so. Croissants?"  
"Jean-Luc"  
"You set the table and I'll go wash up. I won't be long."  
He was gone before she could say anything further. When he returned  
he'd shaved and put on clean clothes, but he still looked dreadful.  
He sat at the table and poured both of them a coffee while Beverly  
pulled a steaming pastry apart. He watched her carefully as she  
ate, waiting for the inevitable cross-examination. It soon came.  
"You're not eating."  
"I'm not hungry."  
"Did you have a nightmare last night?"  
He nodded.  
"And you didn't call me?"  
"It wasn't that bad."  
"Did you get back to sleep?"  
"No."  
"What have you been doing?"  
"Oh you knowa bit of readingcatching up on ship's  
business."  
"Did you eat dinner last nightthe soup and roll?"  
"Yes."  
"Will you have something to eat after your therapy?"  
"Of course. I just don't have much of an appetite before  
handyou understand."  
She nodded thoughtfully and popped another morsel into her mouth,  
washing it down with coffee.  
"Jean-Lucwill you let me give you a physical after  
your therapy?"  
"Really BeverlyI don't think that's necessary. I'm  
usually very tired afterwards, I'd just like to come here and  
restif that's all right with you."  
Knowing what was ahead of him, she sighed and shook her head.  
"Well okbut I'm concerned about you Jean-Luc, you look  
terrible."  
"Nothing a decent sleep wouldn't fix. Now, shall we go? I'd  
like to get this over and done with."

 

 

 

 

Two hours later he was slowly dressing himself  
after the agonising therapy. Beverly had assured him that only  
one more treatment was required the following day, something for  
which he was immensely grateful. As he buttoned his shirt she  
came in and stood before him.  
"What say we go to the lounge and have lunch?"  
He smiled tiredly and shook his head.  
"I'm afraid all I want to do is go and lie down for a whileI  
hope you don't mind."  
"Just a minute"  
Beverly produced a tricorder and was just taking the probe from  
its casing when she was suddenly called by Alyssa Ogawa.  
"Doctor Crusher we need you here, a crewman has come in from  
engineering with serious plasma burns."  
Beverly looked hard at Jean-Luc, turned on her heel and left.  
He took the opportunity to make his escape and was soon back in  
his quarters. He rested for a while then went down to Engineering  
to find out what had caused the accident. He didn't eat.  
That night Beverly was required to deliver twins and didn't finish  
in Sickbay until 0330. She asked the computer if the Captain was  
asleep and received a positive response. Happy, she went to her  
own quarters, showered and crawled into bed, sleep claiming her  
immediately.  
Seventeen minutes after the computer checked on him, he woke screaming  
in terror.  
The next morning she slept in and went straight to Sickbay. When  
the Captain came in at the appointed time she gasped when she  
saw him. Pale and gaunt, he almost shuffled into his room and  
listlessly listened to Beverly as she explained that they would  
test his responses after this treatment. He nodded and Beverly  
left him to undress.  
When she came back in, he was lying with his eyes closed, but  
opened them when she squeezed his shoulder.  
"Ok Jean-Luclast one. Are you ready?"  
He nodded and the trial began.  
He didn't know how he got through it. As he lay writhing in agony,  
his mind began to close off. The hiss of the hypospray brought  
him out of his stupor and, as soon as he could, he sat up and  
rested his head on his raised knees.  
Beverly wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rubbed her cheek  
against his face.  
"You stay put. I want to scan you."  
She turned to retrieve a tricorder, but he didn't seem to have  
heard her. He swung his legs off the bed and stood on trembling  
legs, reaching for his clothes. He noted with curiosity that everything  
seemed to be turning black and white. His legs folded under him  
and he crashed to the floor, hitting his head solidly on the table  
as he went.  
"Jean-Luc!"  
As she rushed to his aid she called for help.  
"Selar! Alyssa! Come quickly!"  
The two officers came into the room to find Beverly crouched down  
next to the Captain, stemming blood flowing from a head wound.  
"Help me get him onto the bed."  
They gently lifted the stricken man and Beverly scanned him with  
a tricorder.  
"No fracture, just a nasty gash. Selar hand me an autosuture."  
Beverly closed the wound with the instrument then consulted the  
tricorder again.  
"Blood sugar has bottomed outmy God he hasn't eaten  
for days! What the hell?"  
Beverly, realising the Captain was naked, quickly covered him  
with a blanket. She then turned to her fellow Doctor.  
"We'll need to feed him intravenously, at least for the interim.  
He's completely exhausted and his body has been depleted utterly  
of nutrients. When he regains consciousness I will apply neural  
inducers. I want his sleep to be dream free for a whilehe  
needs rest. Alyssa help Doctor Selar set up the drip, I'll be  
back in a minute."  
Beverly made her way to her office and called Deanna.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Deanna arrived in Sickbay she found her friend  
in the Captain's room. She stood in the doorway, noting how pale  
and gaunt the Captain appeared. Beverly looked up and noticed  
the Counsellor.  
"Come in Deanna."  
"So you said he collapsed?"  
"Yes. Scans show he's not eaten or slept properly for days.  
That combined with the therapy and everything else has proved  
too much for him. Dammit Deanna I should've seen this coming!  
I knew he wasn't eating, but he just pulled the wool completely  
over my eyes. And this treatmentit's been too soon, we should've  
waited. Gods when I think of what he's been through"  
"Beverly stop. You've treated him as you thought fit. I didn't  
see this coming either so you're not alone on your guilt trip.  
When will he wake up?"  
"We can wake him any time we want, but I think we should  
leave him to sleep. It's what he needs right now."  
" I agree. He's being fed intravenously?"  
"Yeshe's so weak we needed to get nourishment into  
him immediately."  
"How long?"  
"Until he starts to eat on his own."  
"Beverly I know he's been having nightmareshas he discussed  
them with you?"  
"Not really. If he has a bad one he calls me, but we usually  
just chat or readhe wants company mostly. Why?"  
"Because he hasn't discussed them with me eitherat  
least not in any meaningful context."  
Beverly looked down at her lover and sighed, gently running her  
fingers down his arm.  
"Jean-Lucwhat have you been doing to yourself?"  
To Deanna she said,  
"Well when he's able, we'll all sit down and talk about this.  
He's not going to sneak by me again."  
Deanna smiled at her friend and held her hand out.  
"Can I see his workups?"  
"Yep. Come to my office and we'll have a cup of tea while  
you read them."  
The two women left the Captain's room and had been seated in Beverly's  
office for some time when an ear splitting scream resounded throughout  
Sickbay. They ran into the main body of the department to find  
Selar running to the Captain's room. They followed her.  
Jean-Luc was writhing on the bed, drenched in sweat and sobbing  
with terror.  
"No! I won't! Stopplease, oh God please stop"  
Beverly gripped his shoulders and shook him.  
"Jean-Luc! Wake up Jean-Luc it's a dreamjust a dream."  
He shook his head from side to side violently, his fists balling  
at his sides. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he screamed,  
"Noooo!" and struck out with his right fist catching  
Beverly on the cheek and knocking her off her feet. Deanna grabbed  
Jean-Luc as Selar went to Beverly's aid.  
"Captain! Captain Picard! Wake up!"  
Jean-Luc drew back his fist to strike again only to pause as his  
vision cleared. He blinked slowly twice and looked perplexed at  
his raised fist. In a roughened voice he said,  
"Deanna?"  
"It's alright Captain you had a bad dream. Lie back now and  
relax, it's over."  
Selar scanned the livid bruise on Beverly's cheek before running  
a tissue regenerator over the affected area. Helping her to her  
feet, Selar pronounced her healed and went to check on the Captain's  
drip. Jean-Luc was still staring at his hand when he noticed Beverly  
rubbing her cheek.  
"Beverly what happened?"  
"Nothing Jean-Luc, you got a fright that's allit's  
nothing really."  
"It's not nothing Beverlymy GodI hit you!"  
It was then he saw the drip attached to his arm.  
"What's this? What's going on? What happened to me?"  
"Jean-Luc everything's alright. You got up too soon after  
your therapy and fainted. You hit your head, but I fixed it."  
"And the drip?"  
"You haven't been eating. We needed to get you some nourishment  
into you quicklythat was the quickest way."  
"Well you can remove it now thank you."  
Beverly came closer to him and grasped his hand.  
"I don't think so. Not only haven't you been eating, you've  
not been sleeping either. The combination has left you severely  
weakened. You'll be staying here for a few days while we stabilise  
your body chemistry. I want you to rest Jean-Luc."  
"I can do that in my quarters."  
"Uh uh that's how you got here in the first place. If you  
won't look after yourself, then I'll do it for you."  
"Beverly"  
"No. It's my way or none at all."  
He glared up at her then gave up.  
"Very well."  
"Good. Now I'm going to go and set a few things up, I want  
you to talk to Deanna while I'm goneand Jean-Luc? No more  
lies."  
She left before he could respond, leaving him alone with the Counsellor.  
Silence settled for a while before Deanna broke it.  
"No more lies Captain?"  
He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily.  
"It would seem I have been a littlecavalier with the  
truth."  
"In what way?"  
"I told Beverly I was eating when in fact I wasn't."  
"Why?"  
"I wasn't the least bit hungry and she kept nagging me! In  
the end it was a relief to lie to her just to make her stop."  
"I don't think you're being exactly fair Captain"  
He snorted and grimaced, but then relented.  
"You're right, I'm not. Look I know Beverly was only doing  
her job, but between my not feeling hungry and the damned therapy"  
"She was doing more than just her job Captainyou know  
how much she cares"  
Jean-Luc reached out and gripped Deanna's hand.  
"I know CounsellorI spoke in anger, I'm sorry."  
"Captainyou've been to hell and back recently. I understand  
your anger, in fact I condone it."  
"You do?"  
"Yes! For a man like you, it's difficult to talk about how  
you feel, but nevertheless, those unshared feeling fester and  
the pressure builds. It's no wonder you've been having nightmares."  
"And hitting the woman I love?"  
"An accident Captain. She bears no malice. But I am curiouswhy  
didn't you talk to her about the nightmares? I know you called  
her at night."  
He lay silently, formulating his reply.  
"They are so terribleso vividwhen I waken its  
all I can do not to break down completely. One time I actually  
wet the bed, heaping humiliation on top of everything else. By  
the time I was able to call her I had gained a semblance of control.  
I didn't want to lose it."  
"So you said nothingkept it all to yourself?"  
"Uh huh."  
"What are they about?"  
"Mostly what Bleck did to me. I told you that sometimes it's  
Beverly on the receiving end but sometimes I dream Bleck emasculates  
me. The pain is excruciating. When I found I couldn't get an erection,  
the dreams became worse. Somehow the therapy added to itperhaps  
it was the painI don't know, but I found myself beginning  
to believe that I would never again get anI want so badly  
to make love to Beverlythe thought that I might not be able  
toit's devastating."  
"But surely Beverly has told you she thinks the treatment  
has been successful?"  
"Yes, but we don't know yet."  
"Well as soon as you're strong enough, it will be the first  
order of business."  
He smiled and released her hand, rubbing his face.  
"You know CaptainBeverly is bound to be hurt by all  
this."  
"I know."  
"You need to talk to her."  
He nodded and sighed.  
"Not only do I have to apologise for hitting herI have  
to say sorry for lyingfor deceiving her. Gods what a mess."  
Deanna patted his hand.  
"Nothing that can't be sorted out. When she comes back she's  
going to place neural inducers on you to make sure you get some  
dreamless sleep."  
"That makes sense. I must admitI'm exhausted. Some  
dream free sleep would be appreciated."  
"I leave you then. Be patient with her Captain, her temper  
sometimes gets in her way."  
"I willand thank you Deanna, we'll talk again soon."  
The Counsellor left and Jean-Luc wondered how long he would have  
to wait before being exposed to Beverly's wrath.

 

 

 

 

 

Deanna found the red head making up a meal regimen  
for the Captain.  
She read over Beverly's shoulder before chancing a giggle.  
"You'll never get him to eat all that!"  
Beverly slapped the PADD down with more force than was necessary.  
"I'll make him eat it or die trying! That man! Honestly Deanna  
I don't know what to do with him. One half of me wants to cosset  
him, the other half wants to kick him in the rear end. What the  
hell am I supposed to do?"  
"A little of both I think. Beverly he won't be cosseted and  
he certainly won't appreciate being kicked, but he does need to  
know how much he's hurt you. He's very sorry about what's happenedand  
he's mortified that he hit youit's just that he's had so  
much to deal withit all became too much for him and he withdrew  
from us all. It's not like he's never done it before."  
Beverly sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.  
"I know. Dammit Deanna I want to help him, but he won't let  
me!"  
"I think he will now."  
Beverly looked frankly at her best friend and sighed.  
"You think so?"  
"Uh huhstarting right now."  
Giving her a gentle push, Deanna watched as Beverly made her tentative  
way to the Captain's room.

 

 

 

 

 

As she slowly entered the darkened room, Bevery called  
for the lights to come up by 25%. She went to the table and fiddled  
with some instruments before she heard a whispered  
"Beverly?"  
She turned and put on her Doctor's face.  
"Yes Captain?"  
He reached for her hand, but she stood ramrod straight, keeping  
her hands by her sides.  
He closed his eyes and let his hand drop onto the bed.  
"BeverlypleaseI need you."  
"Do you?"  
He opened his eyes and she gave a small gasp as she saw tears  
rolling slowly down his face. He nodded and raised his arms.  
"Come to me my love."  
Her resolve broken, a sob was wrenched from her throat as she  
flung herself into his embrace. She wound her arms around him  
and held him as if he might disappear. They wept quietly in each  
other's arms, giving and taking strengthand love. Eventually  
Beverly sat up and retrieved some tissues for them both. Jean-Luc  
found his voice first.  
"Beverlymy loveI'm so sorry. I have lied to you,  
deceived youstruck youwhat can I do to make it right  
between us?"  
Beverly rested a hand on his chest to make sure he stayed supine  
as she wiped her tears away. Shaking her head, she placed a finger  
on his lips.  
"Hush Jean-Luc, I understand. Everything happened too fast.  
Your rescue, confronting Bleck, the therapyI should've given  
you more timeand as for hitting mepar for the course  
I'm afraid. Comes with the job. If I had some latinum for every  
time someone's taken a swing at me, I'd be rich. I should've ducked.  
Don't give it another thought."  
"Hmm I'll take that under advisement. I should've been honest  
with you thoughI'm sorry."  
"Tell you what. How about we start afresh? From now on we  
share everythingour thoughts our dreamsour fantasies"  
He shifted his head and smiled for the first time.  
"I think I like the sound of that. When do we start?"  
"Like I saidnow."  
Beverly basked in one of his rare full grins.  
"Oh good."  
She grinned back at him then left the bed to go to the table.  
She returned with two devices in her hands.  
"For now however, you need some quality sleep."  
She placed the instruments on his temples and activated them.  
"I'm going to give you a sedative to help you sleep. The  
neural inducers will stop any dreams. It's not something we can  
do for any protracted time, after all you do need to dream, but  
this will suffice in the short term."  
He felt the hypospray touch his neck and he heard the characteristic  
hiss. Immediately his body relaxed and he felt his mind become  
sluggish.  
"Good night my love."  
He managed one last question.  
"Will you stay?"  
"Yes."

 

 

 

 

 

He slept undisturbed for twelve hours and Beverly stayed  
by his side the entire time, dozing by his bed. At 0830 she removed  
the inducers and allowed him to enter REM sleep. She monitored  
him carefully and noted the dreams were not stressful. She also  
noted, with great satisfaction, as he entered a lighter sleep  
in preparation to waking, he had an erection. It had subsided  
by the time he woke up.  
"Good morning Jean-Luc."  
He blinked owlishly and smiled at his lover. In a deep rumble  
he replied,  
"Good morning Doctor."  
"Would you like to go to the bathroom?"  
He nodded and Beverly disconnected the drip, drawing the cannula  
from his vein.  
"There you go you don't need that any more."  
He smiled his thanks and made his way to the bathroom. After using  
the toilet, he shaved and showered and was greeted to the smell  
of breakfast when he re-entered his room.  
"What have we here?"  
With a flourish Beverly whipped off the cover from the plate.  
"Hot croissants, butter, strawberry jam, blueberry jam and  
coffee."  
He grinned and went to sit in a chair but Beverly scowled and  
shook her head.  
"Oh no you don't! Back into bed mister."  
"But"  
"No buts. Bed."  
He stood a moment frowning then shrugged his broad shoulders and  
climbed into bed. Beverly straightened the covers then placed  
the tray over his thighs.  
"Noweat!"  
"Aye Sir."  
Twenty minutes and three croissants later, they were sharing a  
coffee when Beverly leaned forward and sneaked a kiss.  
"What was that for?"  
"I've got good news."  
"Really? What?"  
"Well you know thatproblemwe've been working  
on? The one you had the therapy for?"  
"Yes" he said tentatively.  
"You're cured!"  
"What? How do you know?"  
Beverly giggled, an impish gleam in her eyes.  
"When you were waking up you got an erection."  
Jean-Luc blushed and put his cup down.  
"Oh God. Were we alone?"  
"Uh huh."  
"Thank heaven for small mercies."  
He thought about it then and a grin appeared on his face.  
"Was itgood?"  
"Oh yes!"  
He sighed and closed his eyes.  
"Thank you Beverly. I don't think I have to tell you how  
much this means to me."  
"No you don't but I must admitit's pretty important  
to me too."  
That had them both laughing. They were still chuckling when Deanna  
stuck her head through the door.  
"Good morning. Up for a visitor?"  
Beverly stood and took the tray.  
"Come in Deanna you can talk to himI've got work to  
do."  
She smiled at her friend and let the happy emotions she felt settle  
on her.  
"How do you feel Captain?"  
"Much better Counsellor. I have resolved my differences with  
Beverly and, although I don't wish to go into details, I've just  
found out that my therapy has been successful."  
"That's wonderful Sir! I'm very happy for youboth of  
you. Have you had a good sleep?"  
"Yes nearly fourteen hours and no nightmares."  
"Good. Now that things have been sorted out for you, I think  
we can expect the nightmares to become less frequent, although  
I don't think they'll disappear completely, at least not for a  
while."  
"I understand. I've been through this before remember. I'll  
be alrightwith the right help."  
"Yes Captain you will. Has she got you eating?"  
He chuckled delightedly, a sparkle in his hazel eyes.  
"Indeed she has. Croissants and coffee and she tells me I  
will enjoy lunch."  
Joining her Captain in laughter, Deanna basked in his relaxation,  
a state he didn't often find in the company of others.  
"I'm sure you will Sir. Is there anything you would like  
from your quarters?"  
"No I think I have everything I need thank you."  
"Very well Sir, I'll see you later."  
She left confident for the first time about his recovery.

In all he stayed in Sickbay three days, finally  
securing his release with a solemn vow to rest and eat properly  
in the privacy of his quarters. Beverly walked him back to his  
cabin, arm in arm.  
"So what are you going to do with your time?"  
"Oh I don't knowread, play the flute, there's a new  
Bach piece I've been working on it's very intricate."  
"Fine as long as you stay away from your desk. No ship's  
business, none at all. You must rest."  
"I knowyou've made yourself quite clear on that subject."  
They reached his door and he asked her in.  
"No, not now I have work to do, but I will come for dinner  
if I'm invited."  
He looked up and down the corridor and, finding them alone, leaned  
in and kisser her with gentle passion. She responded and he tightened  
his embrace. Tapering off the kiss, he looked deeply into her  
eyes and murmured,  
"Oh you're invited Doctormost definitely."  
She chuckled softly and kissed him tenderly.  
"Then I'll be there."  
He released her reluctantly and watched as she walked away from  
him. Sighing, he entered his quarters and stood quietly, a satisfied  
grin on his face.

 

 

 

 

Beverly had butterflies as she walked down the corridor  
to his quarters. She'd been to her cabin and showered. Choosing  
her wardrobe had been easy. The peach top he liked so much, paired  
with the blue skirtthe one with the slit up the side. She  
walked bare footed, carrying her shoes. Her capriciousness was  
liberating. She felt happy, carefree and excited. She had high  
hopes for the evening and her desire simmered just under the surface.  
She arrived at his door and activated the chime.  
The door whispered open and they both stood transfixed, each stunned  
by the presence of the other. As he stood back, Jean-Luc's deep  
baritone thrilled her as he spoke.  
"Come in Beverly, you look gorgeous."  
She drifted past him, detecting the musky aroma of his aftershave.  
Turning she cocked her hip and looked him up and down hungrily.  
He wore navy blue close fitting trousers, a white silk shirt and  
soft black shoes. He was devastatingly handsome.  
"Would you care for some wine?"  
She shook her head as she stepped slowly towards him. He stood  
still as she reached up and trailed her fingers from his brow  
to his lips. In a low husky murmur, she replied,  
"I don't want to drink, I don't want to eatI want you."  
He closed his eyes and let the sultriness of her voice wash over  
him. Deeply breathing her scent, he opened his eyes and lifted  
his hands to her hair entangling them.  
"I love you Beverly."  
"I know. I love you toowith all my heart."  
He kissed her then. Gently at first, it soon became a kiss of  
deep passion and need.  
His arms encircled her and he crushed her to him, unable to get  
enough of her. As she felt his erection rise to press at her hip,  
she moaned into his mouth and caressed his neck, running her fingers  
through the short hair. Maintaining the kiss, he swept her up  
into his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He gently placed  
her on her feet, his hands roaming over her breasts.  
Suddenly breaking the kiss, she stepped back, her hand on his  
chest.  
"I've seen you naked often enoughit's your turn."  
With deliberate sloth, she peeled off her top and cupped her breasts  
through her bra.  
Taking another step backwards, she undid the bra and dropped it  
at her feet. Now his eyes roamed over her breasts, etching into  
his memory their shape and colour, how the reddened nipples puckered  
and rose as she gently rubbed them.  
She slipped her fingers under the waistband of her skirt and slowly  
pushed it down until it puddled at her feet. She kicked it away  
and boldly caressed herself through her panties.  
"I've dreamed of doing this for you Jean-Luchaving  
you watch me as I undress."  
He moaned softly, his eyes devouring her body.  
Her thumbs hooked under the elastic of her underwear and she slid  
the garment slowly down her legs. It too joined the skirt, forgotten  
on the floor. She stood before him gloriously naked and extremely  
aroused. He could see the flush of arousal colouring the milky  
skin of her body and his soul ached for her. He stepped forward  
but she stopped him.  
"Nonot yet. Let me undress you."  
One by one she undid the buttons of his shirt and untucked the  
hem from his pants. Encouraging him to lift his arms, she pulled  
the shirt from him and quickly kissed his nipples while his arms  
were upraised.  
He groaned and reached for her, but she shook her head. He lowered  
his arms and waited. She leaned forward and drew a deep breath,  
suffusing her senses with his unique male scent. She gently ran  
her fingers down his chest and slowly undid his trousers. As she  
slid the zipper down, her fingers made contact with his straining  
erection. He gasped and involuntarily thrust his hips.  
She sank to her knees and rid him of his shoes and socks before  
helping him out of his pants. She then ran her hands up the back  
of his legs to caress his buttocks as she gently rubbed her face  
over his confined penis. She drew back and looked at him hungrily,  
noting the wet patch on his briefs. Slipping her fingers under  
the waistband she lowered his underwear and freed his throbbing  
need.  
Once he was fully naked she stood and looked at him. Licking her  
lips she whispered huskily,  
"You're so beautiful"  
He found his voice.  
"As are you, my love."  
He stepped forward and she came to meet him. His kiss was tender  
and searching, learning and tasting. He picked her up again and  
placed her gently on his bed. Stretching out beside her, his hand  
found her breast and he moulded its shape, finding the hardened  
nipple and rolling it between finger and thumb.  
She arched to him, whispering his name.  
His mouth kissed its way down her face and on to the valley of  
her breast. He mouthed his way over the quivering mound and teased  
the nipple repeatedly before sucking it into the heat of his mouth.  
"Oh yes"  
Her hand drifted down his torso and gripped his erection, stroking  
him lightly. He thrust gently into her hand and moaned around  
her nipple. His own hand traced patterns down her flank until  
it enticed her legs apart. As he slipped his fingers through her  
folds she bucked her hips and gasped. When he slid a thick finger  
into her she kissed him and moaned into his mouth.  
Their desire spiralling, he rolled her over and removed his hand,  
now coated with her dew. His erection slid over her as he undulated  
his hips, teasing her, making her want him even more.  
Her blue eyes opened and she panted  
"Now Jean-LucI want you now!"  
He kissed her and reached down to take himself in hand. Guiding  
it slowly he sank into her, making them one for the first time.  
He reached her depths and stilled, letting her become accustomed  
to his size. Still kissing her, his hand reached up and caressed  
her breast. She lifted her legs, locked them around his waist  
and clenched him internally.  
He took her cue and started to thrust slowly, his body tingling  
with sensation. Beverly fell into his rhythm and clenched him  
on every thrust. She held him tightly as he broke the kiss to  
gasp his pleasure.  
"Oh God Beverly"  
"Yes my loveoh yes"  
He raised himself up on trembling arms and thrust hard into her.  
She lifted her hips to meet every movement and felt the onrush  
of her climax.  
"Oh Jean-Lucmoreharder"  
He closed his eyes and gave up his formidable control. He pumped  
into her with abandon, his back whipsawing with effort. She rose  
up to him and held on as she flexed and jerked, crying out his  
name as the ecstasy swept over her.  
He thrust hard four more times and stiffened as his own orgasm  
surged through his sweating body. He ground himself into her as  
he jetted his semen deep inside her then collapsed panting and  
moaning.  


 

 

 

It was some time before they regained their senses.  
Rolling to his side, he took her with him and they lay together,  
still joined, their legs entangled.  
Jean-Luc reached up and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind  
Beverly's ear.  
"That waswonderfulyou were wonderful"  
Beverly chuckled softly and kissed him tenderly.  
"Up to your expectations?"  
He shook his head and grinned.  
"My expectations have been exceeded beyond my furthest imagination.  
I couldn't have concocted anything so beautiful."  
"Hmm, it was good wasn't it? Definitely worth the wait."  
He kissed her with gentle passion, his hand drifting to her breast.  
She returned the kiss with equal ardour, her hand roaming over  
his chest and tweaking his nipples.  
They parted and she growled her pleasure, feeling him harden insider  
her. The love they made was unhurried and extraordinarily intense.  
They were forging an unbreakable bond, one that had begun almost  
thirty years before, but only now sealed in mutual love and passion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An hour later they were sitting up in bed eating a  
belated dinner. Jean-Luc kept glancing surreptitiously and his  
naked lover, watching her as she ate. He was delightedand  
it showed.  
Beverly scooped the last of the gravy up with the bread and popped  
it into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully and he knew something  
was on her mind. He sighed.  
"All rightout with it."  
She dabbed daintily at her lips with a serviette and cast her  
gaze over him.  
"There are somemedical things I need to know."  
"Like what?"  
"In view of you injurieswhen we made love was there  
any pain? Any problems I should know about?"  
He frowned and shook his head.  
"Noeverything was finebetter than fine actually.  
I can honestly say that was the most intimate, extraordinary sexual  
experience of my life."  
Beverly chuckled and gently ran her fingers down his face.  
"Really? You mean all those other women?"  
"BeverlyI wasn't in love with themnot in the  
way I love you. Believe me, they pale into insignificance."  
Beverly smiled gently and rose from the bed, taking the tray with  
her. He admired her as she crossed the room, her nude body catching  
the starlight from the viewport. She soon returned and they snuggled  
under the covers together.  
"How are we going to do this Jean-Luc?  
"Whatour new relationship?"  
"Uh huh."  
"Well I don't know about you, but I would like to keep this  
to ourselves for a whileat least until we find our feet."  
"I agreebut Deanna's going to know, if she doesn't  
already."  
He sighed expansively, his fingers idly drawing patterns on her  
back.  
"I suppose we'll just have to rely on her discretion. She'll  
probably tell Willoh God I'm going to have to bear the shit-eating  
grin. Damn!"  
Beverly laughed and buried her hand in the softly curling hair  
of his chest.  
"They'll leave us aloneI'll kill them both personally  
if they don't, but what about us?"  
"All I can say is that we should take it day by day. Let  
things develop at their own pace."  
"Do you want me to move in with you?"  
"Yes, eventually, but I think we should give each other time  
to settle into this. Beverly I've waited too long to ruin this  
by rushing in headlong and forcing the issue. I will be guided  
by you. Tell me what you need and it's yours."  
Beverly rose up on her elbow and gazed down at her lover.  
"I love you Jean-Lucyou know that don't you?"  
"Yes my love, I know and it makes me the happiest man in  
the universe."  
"Good. Now go to sleep, you still need your rest."  
"Aye Sir."  
He held her as they slipped into sleep and he was right. There  
was not another man in the cosmos as happy as he.

 

*The premise and title of this story came from the fertile  
mind of Amy Fullarton.  
Thank you Amyyou're a gem!

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
